


when i'm weak, i draw strenght from you

by reinacadeea



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-28
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:22:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 21,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029970
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reinacadeea/pseuds/reinacadeea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in a kinder autumn, after a kinder summer, Aaron must learn how to be the grown-up to his nine-year-old brother who has lost both his parents. Meanwhile, Robert continues to seek for Aaron's attention while still denying who he really is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> part one of two

Aaron stares at the kid. Someone has given him a phone and he’s sat swinging his legs to some sort of rhythm inside his own head while staring concentrated at the little screen.

“There are other options,” the social worker says softly. “He’s a young healthy lad.”

“Who has lost both his parents,” Aaron interjects.

“He’s healthy,” the social worker says. “I won’t have a lot of trouble finding a foster family.”

Aaron shakes his head no. “He’s my blood.”

“You need to move, buy him clothes, find a new school and be a parent,” the social worker tells him seriously and it doesn’t seem like she trusts him, which is fair he supposes.

“I have a large family,” he says and thinks of Zak and Lisa, his mum, Debbie… there will be no shortage of people willing to help. He won’t be alone in this.

“Do you want to try and say hello?”

Aaron nods at her, nervously. It’s just a child and a boy. He was a boy once. It’s not different from Noah or Samson – or even Sarah.

The social worker pushes him forward a little and Aaron allows it, putting one foot in front of the other until he reaches the chair beside his little brother.

Elliot doesn’t even register him, too busy playing some game that moves too fast for Aaron. He’s dark-haired, like Aaron, and slouches his shoulders the same way Aaron remembers his dad doing.

“What are you playing?” Aaron asks tentatively and sits down beside the boy.

“It’s got monkeys in it,” Elliot says with a shrug.

“Oh, er,” Aaron says uselessly.

“Are you the one who’s going to take care of me now?” Elliot asks and his legs stops swinging, though his thumbs still move quickly over the small screen.

“Suppose so, yeah,” Aaron says. “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re my brother,” Elliot says matter-of-factly. “Tina said.”

Aaron looks at the social worker and sees her giving him an encouraging look. He couldn’t even remember her name. “Is that okay?” he asks.

Elliot nods. “I’ve never had a brother before.”

He’s a nine-year-old boy and his biggest worry had, until three days ago, been what superhero was coolest. Now, he’s orphaned and all he’s got to show for it is a brother who barely knows how to take care of himself.

 

Aaron tells him to give Tina her phone back and say goodbye for now. They are going to see her again, because Aaron’s no caretaker and his criminal record doesn’t exactly help. The only reason Elliot isn’t at some foster home with a bunch of other kids, is because Aaron is a direct blood-relative and in the eyes of the law that is still important.

He’s not sure what he’s said yes to, though. Tina the Social Worker is right. He needs a new place to live and Elliot needs a room of his own with his own bed and his own things. They are going to have to go back to Gordon and Sandra’s old house and gather his belongings – they live too far away and Aaron has the business in Emmerdale. He can’t move to Elliot and all the kid has ever known. He has to think for two now and money is going to be a big part of it.

Elliot walks beside him awkwardly, wearing his rucksack and staring at the ground. His fingers are locked onto the straps and he’s dragging his feet a little.

Aaron hasn’t got a clue what to say or even what to do. Lisa has promised to have tea ready at the farm as soon as they got to the village. It’s was the first place he thought of when Tina asked him to take care of his brother. Lisa and Zak’s place is the most stable home he knows outside of Paddy and Rhona’s. And they can’t go there because of Leo. Belle is good with kids and there will be loads of animals there to keep Elliot from thinking. It’s not a permanent solution, but for now it will do.

Elliot crawls into the backseat of the car and Aaron uses the few short steps into the front seat to freak out. He won’t let Elliot see and by the time the car’s on, he puts on the radio and they have a chat about Katy Perry.

Elliot doesn’t say much and Aaron has to drag words out of him, but he pays attention, listening as Aaron talks about the animals on the farm, about the cows and sheep. It’s not going to be good enough when tonight he’s missing his mum and dad and all Aaron can do is sit beside him. It’s not going to be good enough when he’s in a new house with new people and a new caretaker that might be his brother, but not a brother he has any relation to in his mind.

Aaron is as much a stranger in Elliot’s eyes as Elliot is in Aaron’s. They are going to have to work together to get to know each other, but Aaron has to be the grown-up. He’s going to provide and be responsible for someone else’s life. It’s such a huge responsibility and he honestly doesn’t feel up to it. Debbie’s done it and being Sarah’s mum has definitely been with its challenges. She’s a good mum, caring and loving, and if someone like her can settle into a role like that – so can Aaron.

He looks at his brother in the rear-view mirror and decides right there in the car, pulling out of the city, that he will try.

 

\--

 

The first night, Aaron and Belle take turns sitting with him while he cries. He’s uncontrollable and devastated, completely inconsolable. It feels like Belle is much stronger than Aaron, as she talks about the clouds and cows, spinning tales about something that Aaron can’t follow. Elliot doesn’t stop crying, but he calms down for a few precious moments. Aaron is no help and he knows all too well that feeling inside of everything being too much.

Aaron has lost his biological father, but he’s not lost a father the same way Elliot has. Gordon was an actual functioning father to his younger son, which is in stark contrast to the struggling father of Aaron’s youth who never could find the time for his then only son. Aaron imagines what loosing Paddy would be like and the feeling overcomes him so suddenly that he has to leave Elliot’s temporary room while he goes on throws up in the bathroom. Maybe it’s a combination of losing his father and the mere thought of losing Paddy that does it, but he spends a good ten minutes staring into the cistern, trying to get his brain to work properly.

Elliot finally falls asleep watching Disney Channel on Belle’s computer around six in the morning. Belle’s gone back to her own bed and Aaron can hear Zak walking about downstairs, getting ready to do his day’s work. He gets up from the uncomfortable chair beside the bed and stretches his crampy legs. He’s not slept a wink and he can’t know for sure how long Elliot will be sleeping either. He doesn’t want him to wake up without someone he’s at least seen before.

Zak hands him a cuppa and they stand in companionable silence for a bit.

“Lisa’s off work today,” Zak says. “You go back home for a bit of sleep.”

Aaron shakes his head no. “Dunno if it’s a good idea.”

“I’m not giving you much choice, lad,” Zak says sternly. “He’ll be in good hands here.”

Lisa comes from the bathroom and walks straight over to give Aaron a hug. “Zak will drive you, love. You’re not driving when you’re this tired.”

Aaron sneaks in downstairs at The Woolpack and sleeps for about three hours when he wakes up with a nightmare. He heaves after breath and tries to calm his racing heart. He gets up from the bed and does a seemingly endless amount of sit-ups trying to get it out of his body. His muscles are straining and he’s short of breath by the time his mind is blank. He crawls back up on the bed and under the duvet, hiding his eyes and ears in the darkness. Everything is much simpler under the duvet.

He only realises he’s been sleeping on top of his phone when the screen lights up with a message.

I’ve got an hour, Robert writes.

There is nothing more to the message, just a simple statement. Aaron snorts because honestly sometimes - the nerve. He pushes the phone away and turns it around. He wants to sleep some more and then go face a little boy who hasn’t just lost an estranged father. He just doesn’t know how to be a parent who takes care of someone who grieves. He barely copes with grieving. How is he supposed to guide Elliot through his?

He sighs and texts Robert back. Who is he kidding besides himself? No one, that’s who.

Robert is in his best working clothes, with a tie and all, out to impress, but the second he’s inside Aaron’s room he loosens the knot and the jacket. His opens the cuffs on his shirt and unbuttons a bit. Aaron tries not to stare, lying on his stomach, hand under his pillow. He can’t quite help himself though.

“Your suit’s gun-“ Aaron tries to say.

“Shh,” Robert says and crawls under the duvet, lining his body halfway on top of Aaron, one hand fastening in Aaron’s and the other curling around his waist.

Aaron sighs into the embrace and suddenly finds himself falling back asleep.

His alarm clock starts chirping at noon and he wakes expecting a body beside him. He should have known better though and fights down the usual disappointment. He checks his phone absently and sees another text message from Robert, telling him he had to go back to work. It’s an old excuse though, one that Aaron’s grown well-tired off.

He still feels strangely refreshed and hates that knowing that Robert cares makes him just a bit better.

Zak and Belle are showing Elliot the sheep when he finally arrives at the farm. Elliot is still somewhat the silent sort, but his eyes are wide in wonder and when he sees Aaron, he clings to his side and tells him haltingly about ‘a sheep who is gunna be a mum’.

“It’s a sheep mum,” he explains.

“It is,” Aaron agrees. “Have you had something to eat?”

Elliot nods. “Lisa is nice.”

“She is, isn’t she?” Aaron says.

Zak is endlessly patient with Elliot as they spend the rest of the day exploring the farm. Belle has her arm linked with Aaron as they walk a couple of paces behind them and Aaron tries to still the thunder in his mind.

“Are you sad?” Belle asks.

“Don’t know,” Aaron says. “I’m more worried about Elliot.”

“You lost your dad, too,” she says softly.

Aaron shakes his head. “Yeah, he was never a proper dad. There is a reason I was a bit messed up back then.”

“You weren’t that bad,” Belle says with a sly grin. They both know he was. “You’re going to be a good brother, all right,” she tells him seriously and he gives her arm a squeeze.

 

\--

 

Aaron is coming from seeing Eric about a possible rental house when he stumbles over Robert and Lawrence in yet another spat over Home Farm. Whatever they have over one another is good enough to keep them fighting and has been since Robert was ceremoniously thrown out of Chrissie’s bed three months earlier. Robert still works there as Estate Manager and Lawrence and Chrissie are still in the certain belief that Robert cheated on her with an unsuspecting woman on one of his business trips. The fact that Robert has managed to keep Aaron a secret for so long is laughable really. Aaron can still count on one hand the amount of people who knows that Robert didn’t just find some lady.

Aaron has cut most of his ties to Robert as well, but sometimes he’s weak.

Robert is still too busy saving face and his job to reveal that none of it matters and Aaron’s given him that ultimatum. He has yet to enforce it properly. Instead, the village believes that Robert and Aaron have developed a special kind of friendship, a big brother sort of relationship where Robert looks out for him. It’s the other way around and people should realise that every time Robert makes a wrong move, he’s back begging help of off Aaron.

Robert sees Aaron well before Lawrence does and manages to spend a second looking at him worried, before Aaron rolls his eyes and walks past them and into the pub where is mum is standing behind the bar.

“How did it go with Pollard?” Chas asks.

“It didn’t,” Aaron and winces at the thought of how much money Eric demanded. He’s not made of money and the scrapyard still isn’t making enough profit to put any kind of down-payment on a house or a rental.

“Look, you can both come and stay here,” Chas tells him with a worried frown, but the thought of Elliot living on top of a pub doesn’t sit well with Aaron either. He wants to give Elliot and him some privacy so they can learn to live with each other. It’s a brand new relationship he’s trying to build and having Chas hovering over him just isn’t what he wants. He’s not sure Chas would even know how to treat a nine-year-old. She wasn’t terribly good at it back when he was that age.

She must see it on his face, so she doesn’t press the issue, instead shooting an annoyed glance Robert’s way when he sits down beside Aaron, close enough that Aaron can feel the heat of his body, but far enough for it to appear platonic. It’s not.

“Diane says you’re looking for property,” Robert says after Chas has gone out of earshot.

“Go away,” Aaron says.

Robert sighs long-suffering, which has Aaron even more annoyed. He doesn’t need Robert’s help.

“Aaron, just let me help,” Robert says and well there you go.

“I’m not having Elliot messed up in one of your deals,” Aaron bites out.

“Home Farm has a variety of…” Robert starts.

“Home Farm isn’t even yours.”

Robert gives him an annoyed look. “Lawrence won’t be that heartless.”

Aaron snorts. “Until he finds out you didn’t just sleep with some random bird.”

“There are agreements, contracts, security,” Robert says. “You’ll sit with all the power.

“I won’t,” Aaron says and sees Chas watching them curiously. “I’ll have a kid with no parents and that’s it. That will be my responsibility.”

“Aaron,” Robert calls after, but he’s already out the door.

Elliot is still staying at Zak and Lisa’s and Aaron wants to keep him up there while Elliot is still struggling with all the new people and surroundings. He’ll need stability and that might be only thing that Aaron can give him. The nightmares haven’t lessened much, but he sleeps a bit earlier now, which is good for Aaron’s back. It’s been hell sitting on the stool beside his bed, watching over him.

Lisa seems to thrive with the extra child in the house and Elliot and Samson have made tentative friends in that special way only children can.

“Can we go and see mum and dad?” Elliot asks over dinner and the mood dampens.

“Er,” Aaron says, through the pasta.

“I know they’re in heaven with Uncle Simon,” Elliot asks. “Mum said it’s called a funeral. It’s where you wave goodbye to people in heaven.”

“Yeah, it is,” Aaron says and it’s like a punch to the stomach. He suddenly realises he has no clue where the funeral is even taking place or when. He’s had naught to do with it and he’s been so focused on getting him and Elliot a place to live that it’s completely slipped his mind. “I’ll just go and make a call real quick,” he says and catches Lisa’s eyes.

She gives him a nod in understanding and he leaves the table hurriedly, walking outside.

“Hey, Tina,” Aaron says the moment the social worker picks up her phone. She’s checked up on him every morning and for that he’s grateful. She’s the only person he can ask for information. He doesn’t know anything but the fact that Elliot has no other blood-relatives alive.

“Is anything wrong?” she asks worriedly.

“No,” he replies quickly and shuffles around in the dirt. “Yes.”

“Are you in over your head?” she asks kindly.

“Yes, but that’s not the issue,” he tells her and that’s the truth. He might be in over his head, but it’s a challenge he’s willing to take and if it’s up to him – win as well. “Elliot is asking about the funeral.”

“Oh yes,” Tina says and sounds relieved. He gets it. She must be taking a great risk on him with his criminal record and with the way she was staring at this financial papers the other day. Having him actually care and take an interest in Elliot must be a huge relief for her. “Sandra’s best friend Laura is taking care of the funeral arrangements. It’s on Wednesday.”

“Do you have a phone number?” he asks.

“Yeah, I’ll text it to you,” she says. “I’m glad. You’re showing true character, Aaron.”

He huffs a bit in amusement. “Let’s see how the first month goes.”

She breathes out a little laugh as well. She’s a nice person who truly believes the best in people and she has every right to be doubtful. Aaron can’t even begin to imagine what kind of shite she gets to see as a worker for Social Services. It’s terrible parents who doesn’t care or people losing their entire families and having to find foster families. It must be incredibly hard.

Aaron admires her for it.

“We’ll go see Laura as soon as possible,” he tells Elliot when he goes back inside.

Elliot lights up and she must be a close friend if Aaron gets to see a reaction like that. It’s good.

 

\--

 

Laura greets Elliot happily, engulfing him in a hug, and asks him how he’s been. Elliot excitedly tells her about the farm animals and the mum sheep that he got to touch.

When Elliot’s done talking, Laura ushers them both into her little house.

“All right, lad,” she says to Aaron icily.

He’s surprised by her response to him, especially because of the warm welcome she gave Elliot.

“Aaron, right?” she asks.

“He’s my brother,” Elliot remarks out of the blue and makes himself at home in front of the telly where Disney Channel is already running.

“He is,” Laura say and Aaron feels her stare, considering him from top to toe. She nods towards the kitchen and he follows her.

“What’s your problem?” he asks her annoyed.

“You’re my problem, Aaron,” she whispers, so Elliot won’t hear. “I don’t know who you are and I don’t like Elliot staying with you.”

Aaron crosses his arms and considers her. She looks like a proper mum, about forty years old like. She’s got a nice house, a large garden and an annoying little dog that is staring at him with the same angry expression as her.

“I didn’t ask for this,” he says.

“No, exactly, you haven’t cared at all and you must have known you had a little brother,” Laura says angrily. “I’ve been there all of his life. I should be the one taking care of him. I have only ever heard bad things about you.”

“Yeah, you probably have,” Aaron says. “But a lot of those things are down to Gordon.”

“He was too young when he had you,” Laura says and she’s actually defending him.

Aaron doesn’t even remember having seen her before, so she might only have known Gordon after he met Sandra. She wouldn’t have dared say that if she had actually had to live with him.

“I have been watching over him every night,” he tells her. “I’ve got maybe ten hours of sleep. But I don’t care. What I care about is Elliot coming to the funeral. He’s been asking and I will go there with him so he can say a final goodbye to his parents. Will you deny him this?”

Laura angrily puts water in the kettle.

“Will you?” he asks again.

“No, that would be cruel,” she says and her eyes are red and her voice shakes.

“I’m sorry,” he says and he means it.

She has got a point. He can’t deny that and he won’t. If Laura has seen Elliot grow up and cared for him and even been a sort of surrogate aunt to him, it has got to hurt watching him being taken away to some bloke who doesn’t even know Elliot. Aaron gets it.

Her shoulders are shaking and Aaron doesn’t know what to do. He isn’t a typical comforter and it might not be appreciated if he tried. She needs to grieve on her own.

“I’ll go grab some food, yeah,” he tells her. “I’ll be back in two hours.”

She gives him a nod, still looking away from him. He can allow her that.

He says a quick goodbye to Elliot, the kid waving at him absentmindedly and drives into Manchester to find something to eat. It’s a nice day all things considered and he eats outside, scrolling through Twitter and reading the latest football news.

He sighs when his phone starts ringing. “What do you want now, Robert?”

“Dunno,” Robert replies on the other end.

“Yeah,” Aaron says.

 

He stares at a couple eating to his left and suddenly wants Robert sitting in front of him, making a rude comment about how slow the waiters are. He doesn’t want to do this whole Elliot thing alone.

“Do you want me to come to the funeral?” Robert asks tentatively.

“Wouldn’t it look weird?” Aaron says.

“I don’t care about that.”

Aaron snorts. “You would everywhere else.”

Robert breathes on the other end. “Don’t be like that.”

“Sorry,” Aaron says.

“I’ll drive you, okay? That way you won’t have to think about that,” Robert says and Aaron closes his eyes.

He’s grateful and he hates it.

When he picks up Elliot at Laura’s, she presents him with Elliot’s best clothes from Gordon and Sandra’s house and a bag of his favourite toys. She doesn’t say much, apart from a time and a location for the funeral two days from now. She then gives Elliot a long and hard hug.

“We’ll wave at mum and dad together, eh,” she tells him and Elliot nods.

It’s the only thing she can do.

 

\--

 

It’s always extra awkward wearing a suit. It’s constricting and he hates button shirts. They’re stiff and makes his throat itch. He hates that in particular. By the looks of it, Elliot hates his dress shirt as well.

“You two look so much alike,” Chas remarks from the veranda and Aaron stares at his little brother. It’s true, both in mannerisms and mind. They’re both too silent for their own good, making it almost impossible to know when Elliot wants anything. He guesses a lot, sometimes with success, sometimes not.

“You look good, mum,” he says and she preens happily, straightening her black dress.

“Thanks, love,” she says.

Elliot tugs at Aaron’s jacket and whispers something that Aaron can’t hear.

“You’re going to have to speak up, El,” he gently reminds Elliot.

“Can I have the iPad, please?” Elliot asks politely.

“Go on,” Aaron tells him and Elliot tears open his rucksack and fishes out his tablet, opening some game that Aaron still haven’t quite understood. What’s wrong with a bit of FIFA?

“You’re joking,” Chas says when she sees the car stopping in the courtyard. “What’s he doing here?”

“He’s giving us a lift,” Aaron tells her guiltily. He might have purposely forgotten to tell her, knowing she would insist on driving by herself if he had told her.

Robert looks good, dressed in mostly black and a white button-up shirt. As soon as he gets out of the car, he’s got his hands in his trouser pockets and gives Chas a calculating look. “All right?”

Chas wrinkles her nose at him and crosses her arms.

“Who are you?” Elliot asks beside Aaron and Aaron hadn’t even realised he had put the iPad away again.

Robert bends down at his knees and gives Elliot his hand. “I’m Robert and I’ll be your chauffeur today.”

Elliot gives it a suspicious look, before taking it. “I’m Elliot.”

“Let’s get going,” Aaron says and lets Robert brush by him, feeling Robert’s hand briefly on the small of his back.

The ride is silent and even Elliot can’t be entertained by his games, instead watching the car driving past trees and whatnot on their way to Manchester.

Chas is sat in the front with Robert driving, leaving Aaron in the back with Elliot. Aaron is not even sure why he lets his mum continues to believe that she has some magic ability to keep them away from each other. It hasn’t worked for as long as she has tried and it hasn’t now. Robert might be a manipulative idiot, but at least Aaron knows Robert cares.

They reach the cemetery late and Aaron feels the eyes of maybe fifty people watching him guide Elliot through the masses to sit in the front with Laura and her husband. Chas and Robert follows behind them, silent and sure in their support. He wants both of them here; doing just that while he tries to reconcile with the fact that he will never have any form of closure with his dad.

He watches the service in a daze, on one hand keeping an eye on Elliot who hasn’t seemed to completely grasp why everyone is crying. On the other hand, his mum has his hand folded into hers, trying to provide some comfort. He appreciates it nonetheless.

Elliot and Aaron walk hand-in-hand after the two caskets as they are carried out of the church by men Aaron doesn’t know. It’s weird being centre of a funeral he probably wouldn’t attend if it wasn’t because of Elliot. It’s not until the men starts lowering the caskets into the ground that Elliot finally realises that his parents will be buried and he starts crying into Aaron’s trouser leg.

Aaron rubs his scalp in comfort and tries to swallow the lump in his throat, clocking up his airways. His eyes burn and he wants to not cry. He welcomes it when Robert puts his arm around Aaron’s shoulders and pulls him into his side. Robert has always been taller and Aaron loves falling into place in the crook of his arm, pretending that Robert can shield him from all the shite. It’s wishful thinking, but in that moment, feeling Elliot’s tears seeping through his trousers, he wants to believe it’s true. He can’t hear the pastor’s words or even comprehend that he’s burying a part of himself, a part of himself he might hate, but still a part that shares the same DNA.

How can he even think that he can raise a child? Who would ever give him a responsibility like that? What can he offer his own brother? Nothing, that’s what. A spare room in a home that isn’t his and no money to buy a new iPad if Elliot brakes the other one.

Laura is right. She would be a better parent.

“Stop freaking out,” Robert comments into his ear and Aaron bites his lip annoyed.

He can’t believe his thoughts circle like this, around in the same circle of having no confidence and not believing he is capable of being a caretaker to someone else. He would have made sure Jackson had everything. It’s not the first time he’s had to take care of someone. Why does this time feel different?

He can feel his breathing come quicker and his heartbeat escalating. “Robert…” he gets out and Robert finally takes a good look at him.

“Laura,” Robert whispers and indicates that she needs to take over from Aaron in regards to Elliot. She takes one look at Aaron’s face and pulls Elliot closer, the boy going willingly.

“Is everything all right?” Chas whispers to Robert.

He gives her a noncommittal shrug and leads Aaron through the crowd around the newly dug graves, slightly behind the church and mostly out of view. He’s got his arm around Aaron the whole way and doesn’t stop touching him, even when Aaron crouches forward and keeps a hold on Robert’s jacket while he dry-heaves.

“We’re going to figure it out,” Robert tells him and runs his hands through his hair in comfort. “No matter what, we will figure this out.”

“He’s just a kid,” Aaron chokes out.

Robert pulls him up, pressing his fingers around the back of Aaron’s head, looking him straight in the eye. “Hey, look at me.”

Aaron does, staring into the familiar concern in Robert’s eyes.

“You are not alone in this,” Robert says with steely determination in his voice. “I’m going to be there. Just ask and I’ll be there.”

Aaron pulls him in by the lapels of his jacket and places his head on his chest, breathing in the spice of Robert’s aftershave. “I need your help,” he admits and feels Robert kiss his temple gently.

“I’ll figure something out,” Robert says and Aaron believes him.

Laura is giving them both a hard look when they return, but they spend the rest of the service tucked against each other, supportive and relying heavily on each other. It feels almost like Aaron will handle it, like he can do all of it.

 

\--

 

Aaron is watching Elliot play FIFA on his iPad when Robert walks into the café and sits down in the chair opposite them.

“I spoke to Erik,” he says and Aaron already knows what he’s done.

Since the funeral, he’s been dodging increasingly angry phonecalls from Laura and heeded Tina’s warnings that Elliot cannot continue to stay at Zak and Lisa. Robert overheard one conversation, having skived off work to see Aaron and Elliot in Hotten, and had gotten this determined look on his face. It’s not been difficult to guess what Robert had been doing for the next two days.

 

“You sorted it?” Aaron asks him and Robert nods.

“I did what I had to do,” he says and Aaron’s grateful, because he knows Eric wouldn’t have lessened the prize of Jacob’s Fold even if he knew Aaron’s full situation. “Some of Pearl’s old furniture is still there.”

“I can’t stay with Zak and Lisa anymore?” Elliot says, tearing himself away from his game. He’s got a little frown going on and Aaron brushes it away with his thumb softly. It’s new, this thing, where he needs to touch Elliot as much as possible and he thinks that if someone had done the same to him when he was Elliot’s age… maybe he would have been softer too.

“No, you’re going to stay with me permanently now,” he tells his brother.

Elliot looks to be contemplating it a little. “Yeah, okay. If we can see Belle.”

“You can see Belle all you want,” Aaron promises and Elliot smiles.

“I’ll borrow the van of off Home Farm, yeah,” Robert says and gives Elliot his customary high-five, before getting up. “See you later.”

Aaron nods and gives Robert a tiny smile. “See ya.”

Robert leaves with one last true smile, the smile that tells Aaron that he’s being honest. The smile that Aaron loves best.

“I couldn’t help but overhear, love, that you have found a new place to live,” Edna asks kindly and takes Robert’s place. “I am very happy that you are taking responsibility for your brother.”

Edna knows about Robert and is the only person outside of his mum and Paddy who knows. She struggled with it, like Paddy did in the moral sense, but once Aaron appealed to what happened with her own husband and Lawrence, she quickly took Aaron’s side and has kept quiet. He’s grateful to have her on his side. He also knows that the day Lawrence susses out exactly what Robert’s been keeping him his daughter, Edna may be one of the only people that can talk him down from a murderous rage. He needs her in his corner and with Elliot here he needs to be extra aware of who will stand on his side, who he can truly trust.

“Yeah, Pearl’s old place,” Aaron tells her.

“That is very good for the both of you,” she says and Bob serves her, her tea.

It’s incredible really, that Aaron’s grown fond of her. Maybe it’s because he reminds her of her former husband (well, after Aaron mellowed out) or maybe she sees it as her moral obligation as a good Christian to make sure Elliot is taken care of. Either way, he’s found that she’s not as uppity as he’s always assumed.

“Is Robert still staying with Andy?” she asks pointedly.

“As far as I know,” he tells her.

She hmms and turns her attention to Elliot, asking in that grandmother way of hers what Elliot is doing.

Aaron decides not to comment.

It seems like half the village helps them move into Jacob’s Fold and Elliot finds some new friends in the village kids. Aaron watches them play fondly as Adam hands out beers to everyone as thanks. Robert, in usual fashion, has managed to make an absolute nuisance of himself and been ordered to watch the grill, which suits him fine as far as Aaron can tell. He keeps looking over as well and they keep catching each other’s eyes. It’s bashful and feels such like the old times before things got really complicated.

A shriek is heard from inside the house and Marlon, Paddy and Rhona comes running outside holding a cloth to Paddy’s forehead and Aaron laughs, because he can’t figure out who is making the biggest fuss about whatever little scrap Paddy’s got himself into this time. They’re off to hospital with a shout in Pearl’s general direction to take care of the kids.

“This is all very grown-up, innit?” Chas says from beside him and he startles. He hadn’t even seen her sneaking up.

He shrugs and accepts a can from her.

“Well, I’m dead proud of ya,” she remarks and gives him a one-armed hug.

He can’t help but lean into it a little, taking comfort on such a small scale. He wants to give the same comfort to Elliot. He wants the boy to know that he isn’t alone in the world and that physical affection is just as important as everything else.

“Do you think I can do it?” he asks self-consciously.

“Yes,” she says and she sounds honest enough. “You’ve grown up to be a much better man than I could ever have imagined. You’ve got a ton of friends and family who wants to help in any way they can. And if that fails,” she lowers her voice and leans in a little closer. “Robert’s got your back. He’s your own guardian angel. You won’t suffer for naught.”

“I never knew you could speak such words,” he says and gives her a tiny smile. “They’re compliments, mum!”

She bumps his shoulder. “Don’t get used to it. I still don’t think he will ever be comfortable in public with ya.”

“Mum…” he chastises her.

“I know you don’t want to hear it,” she says. “I’m sorry, love. Not today.” She gives him a final hug and goes over to help Moira with the wine.

Aaron stares after her for a bit, wondering why their relationship always has to go to these extremes when they can be just like this – sensible and grown-up. They’re the same person basically and he sometimes wishes he could relate to her more. He won’t allow the same for Elliot. Elliot will have a person in his life that he can rely on a hundred percent, someone who will go to all his school things or footy things and give him all the talks, even the uncomfortable ones. He will learn to cast prejudices away, even those that Gordon’s already instilled in him, and think about his actions before he becomes a teenager. Being a teenager is hard enough without your parents being dead and when both is gone… it won’t ever be easy.

“It’s a fancy house, mate,” Adam says and pulls him closer to the grill where Robert’s sat with Andy. “But then again. You’re all grown-up now. Little angry Aaron having responsibilities.”

“Unlike you, you mean,” Aaron remarks and Andy and Robert laughs.

“Oi, mate, I’m well grown,” Adam says offended.

“Man-child more like,” Aaron says. “But don’t worry, Adam. You can still come over for fish fingers.”

“Classy,” Adam says proudly and chases after his mother when he sees her walking by.

“Adam is such a flake,” Robert says and hands Aaron a new can of beer.

Aaron sits down in front of him and opens it. He’s surrounded by his family and friends and Robert is talking to him. The sun is even out.

It feels like hours later when everyone is gone and he’s put Elliot to bed after the little lad had exhausted himself playing football with Noah. Everything is still in boxes, a lot of it taken from Gordon and Sandra’s house so it wouldn’t go to waste. Even Elliot’s found a thing or two that he’s been staring at fondly and Aaron thinks it’s probably a small comfort that not everything has changed.

He’s just got the telly working when his phone chimes.

“I’m lurking outside,” Robert says when he picks up.

Aaron snorts and stands up to open the door. “You’re going to scare Pearl,” he says.

“I don’t think Pearl is awake at this time,” Robert says and pushes by Aaron, grapping his hips and pushing him backward until Aaron can feel the wall behind him.

“Small mercies, ey,” Aaron says and sighs into the kiss. It’s a short one, more of a ‘welcome inside’-kiss then their usual passionate embraces. It feels real and nice and, unfortunately, something he rarely gets from the person he wants most.

“I missed you,” Robert whispers as they embrace, rocking back and forward a little.

Aaron settles his face into Robert’s neck and echoes the sentiment. When they finally part, Aaron feels a lot warmer and not just physically. He pulls Robert down beside him on the sofa, sat spooned against each other and watching a Beatles documentary that Aaron could care less about.

“I talked to Elliot’s old school,” Aaron says as he watches Robert trace the seam of his trousers with his long fingers.

Robert looks at him, paying attention and urges him to continue talking.

“Apparently, he’s been having some troubles with attendance before the accident,” Aaron says and remembers the twenty minutes he had listened to the headmistress try to convince herself that Elliot hadn’t been experiencing problems at home. “Attitude problems, getting into trouble with his mates, staying away from classes… sounds exactly like me at that age.”

“Little Angry Aaron,” Robert says, echoing Adam from earlier that day.

“The new school thinks he’s going to need special help getting caught up with everything,” Aaron says. “What do I know about school?”

“Not everyone can be good in school,” Robert says with a shrug. “Took me two tries before I settled enough to take a business degree.”

“You’ve got the brains for it, though.”

Robert huffs out a little laugh and settles his hand on Aaron’s thigh. “Yeah, I’ve got brains, but I didn’t have the commitment until I was twenty-three. There was too much going on.”

Aaron knows the feeling too well.

“We’ll make a deal, yeah,” Robert says. “I’ll sit with Elliot every Monday and Wednesday and practice English. You’ll do Maths and maybe you can get Belle to help a bit with the rest. Studying is about commitment and if you somehow can instil a bit of patience in the lad – he’ll be all right.”

“You and me trying to teach someone else patience,” Aaron comments, but he feels giddy inside. “We must be going barkers.” He leans over and pulls Robert into a proper snog, tongue and all. He deserves that much.

 

\--

 

It takes Tina the Social Worker a month to find his medical records.

He’s oblivious of course, set in his and Elliot’s daily routines already. Most of Jacob’s Fold is refurbished and liveable and Elliot’s even started sleeping full nights without waking up crying. Aaron never thought he would sleep less than he already does, but having a heartbroken child is worse. He’s constantly checking up on his brother, making sure he’s comfortable in his room and when he’s sure Elliot is sleeping, he goes downstairs and paints or watches dodgy late night shows on E4.

It’s relentless.

Robert’s a steady presence in their life and Andy’s begun complaining that he’s lost his brother to his shiny new best friend. Chas usually looks constipated by that point and storms off in annoyance. Their affair is still the best kept secret in the village. It’s quite strange that no one has latched onto the fact that Robert spends all of his free time playing football with a nine-year-old and the grumpy scrapper watching them.

Aaron supposes he should complain more, but Robert being awkward about publicising his other sexual identity almost feels normal compared to the way his entire life has shifted on its proverbial head. He might want Robert to talk, to tell the world what he really wants (and gets) from Aaron, but the lay of the land says otherwise. Robert is still tied up with Home Farm, fighting to keep it on the map after the whole ordeal with Lachlan. Lawrence still hates the very sight of him, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t need Robert to make their business succeed. Robert is good at what he does and Lawrence knows it. Aaron impatiently waits for the day that Robert will realise that he can run the Estate by himself without his ex-in-laws and the day he realises that sexuality doesn’t hinder success.

He’s sweating over scrap when Adam uses his gigantic body to catch his attention. He pulls his security hat off and sees Tina standing beside Adam in clothes that certainly doesn’t fit the dirt of the scrapyard.

“We got fizzy water,” Aaron can hear Adam offer her. “That’s about it. Lad’s place and all.”

She laughs awkwardly and follows Adam inside the portacabin.

There is something prickling in the back of his mind and he can feel the worry creeping up his spine. She always calls, always.

“I’m sorry,” she says and she does sound regretful. “I took a huge risk sending Elliot to stay with you.”

“Don’t say it,” Aaron pleads.

She fiddles with her handbag. “A colleague of mine was checking vaccines and she had a good look at your medical records. You have to understand that I have to do what is best for Elliot, for every single child that goes into my care. I cannot with the knowledge I have allow a nine-year-old to stay with a convicted felon who also has had severe post-traumatic stress syndrome symptoms."

“You always knew my sentence had been suspended,” Aaron says and tries to push the words out from the lump in his throat.

“Yes, of course I did, and because of the mitigating circumstances surrounding the two cases, I was ready to allow you the chance. But you had a severe psychic relapse as late as March,” she says.

He likes the kindness she shows him, the faith that she put in him. He understands where she is coming from, he really does.

“He’ll go to Laura then?” he says and she nods.

She comes over and touches his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Aaron.”

He wonders why it keeps happening to him, why all that misery has to centre on him and force him to accept that his life is worthless. He’s so well-acquainted with pain now, but it hurts just as much as all the other times. He always sees the best, tries to make the best of any given situation and it’s always him sitting with the shite in the end. Every. Single. Time.

He wants Elliot in his life, his prickly and silent little brother with his dark eyes and grumpy goodnights. He wants to sit with his brother and practice Maths while Robert fails at making omelettes. He wants to wake up every day and feel like he’s worth something more than what some paper tells about him. He’s more than that. But that doesn’t mean he can’t see where Tina is coming from either. She has every right to be concerned. He’s got the scars and the dodgy ankle to prove how absolutely terrible he is at taking care of a person. He can’t even take care of himself and she can only infer that he can’t take care of his brother because of that.

Maybe he’s just worthless.

When she’s gone, Aaron locks the door and ignores Adam’s worried pleas. He sits down and doesn’t stand up before an hour later when Adam finally breaks open the window. Aaron can’t stand the relief in his eyes.

“Come one, Aaron,” Adam says softly. “Just open the door, yeah.”

He does, but it’s on auto-pilot.

“Talk to me,” Adam urges.

Aaron tries to focus on his face, but the only thing he can hear is the sound of a car on the gravel. “Who did you call?”

Adam frowns. “My phone’s in here, mate.”

It can only be one person then who would pop by around lunch.

He lurches up and sees Robert getting out his car, wearing a scowl on his face while speaking into his phone. He barely sees Aaron before he’s pushed him up against the side and drops his phone.

“What are you doing?” Robert says confused.

Aaron expects he can see it on his face. “It’s your fault they’re taking him. It’s all your fault!”

“What are you talking about?” Robert asks worried and closes his hands around Aaron’s wrists where they are held tightly onto his jacket. “Has something happened?”

“If I hadn’t gone to hospital in March, maybe she would have been more lenient,” he says to Robert, but also maybe to himself.

Adam rips him away from Robert. “What are you doing? You can’t go blaming Robert.”

“Can’t I? It’s his fault, Adam,” Aaron shouts.

“Aaron, just tell me what happened? Is it something to do with Elliot?” Robert asks calmly.

Aaron isn’t calm. He was numb in the cabin, but he’s not now. He wants to hurt Robert the way he hurt him. “I wish I hadn’t gotten into bed with you! I wish you hadn’t come back! All it’s done is cause heartbreak, Robert! All of it! Everything you touch! She took Elliot because you drove me mad,” he shouts it and if Adam hears… well, that’s not his problem. Elliot is his problem.

Robert looks devastated. “She’s taken him away?”

“I bet you’re even loving it,” Aaron snaps at him. “That way you can keep your big gay secret for just a little while longer.”

“Stop yelling,” Robert says, stepping forward and reaching out slowly with his arms.

Aaron pushes them away. “Well, aren’t you? You’ve got everything you wanted.”

“You would barely speak two words to me before Elliot came into the picture,” Robert snaps back and they’re back to their old games. “You drove yourself mad.”

“Stop manipulating me!”

“Then stop telling me what I did wrong and tell me how to fix it!”

“Stop it, the both of you!” Adam shouts and pushes them further apart, getting into the middle. “What have I missed here?”

“Yeah, what has he missed, Robert?” Aaron says pointedly and crosses his arms.

Robert opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. He looks terrified and Aaron revels in it.

“He didn’t cheat on Chrissie with some bird,” Aaron says helpfully. “He’s been with me every single time and now they’ve taken Elliot because he’s too ashamed admitting what he really likes.”

“I didn’t force you to nearly run yourself to death,” Robert says and his voice breaks.

“Didn’t you?” Aaron asks and Robert closes his eyes.

The Katie-shaped elephant in the scrapyard hangs between them, clouding their every conversation.

Robert runs his hands through his hair. “Aaron… just… I can fix this.”

 

Aaron snorts and pushes Adam’s hand away, turning away from Robert and leaning on his knees, head bent forward. He feels lightheaded and nauseous.

“I need you,” Robert says.

In front of Adam.

“Okay?” he says tentatively. “I’ll get him back for you.”

Stop making promises you can’t keep, Aaron thinks and straightens back up. He looks him square in the eyes, jaw set and crosses his arms.

Robert looks determined enough and turns on his heel, gets into the car and speeds off, wheelspin and all, leaving Aaron and Adam behind.

“Are you in a relationship with Robert Sugden?” Adam says in the silence and throws out his arms. “How did I miss this? Since March!”

“Since December,” Aaron corrects him.

“Mate,” Adam says, dragging out the ‘a’. “You legit are a dap hand at it then.”

“Piss off,” Aaron says, but he doesn’t mean it. He wants Adam to keep on talking to him, keep him occupied. If he talks about Robert, about how bloody angry he is – maybe he won’t think about Elliot, about not getting to see his little brother again. Because it doesn’t seem like Laura would allow it, not with the way her messages has turned increasingly homophobic and mean. It’s her primary reason for hating him though and while he despises casual homophobia, she is still more capable of taking care of a child.

They sit in the portacabin and Aaron talks, tells Adam about Robert showing interest, about reading signs right/wrong and their constant fighting. He tells Adam about Robert listening, about discovering that what he says carries with Robert and they started relying on each other.

Adam isn’t happy about any of it, but he says he’s glad he finally understands why Aaron had gone a bit mental. The minute Aaron begins talking, he’s pouring almost everything out, glad to have someone who aren’t Chas and Paddy that knows. Some of the tension clutching his heart lessens and he can breathe a bit easier. It’s been such a heavy secret that he’s completely forgotten what a relief it is to have it out in the (almost) open.

He tells Adam ‘thank you’ when he’s done pouring his heart out and his best mate takes him into Hotten where they get blathered and all Aaron has to do is talk shit about Robert. It almost makes him feel better.

It doesn’t feel better when the taxi drops him off at Jacob’s Fold, empty Jacob’s Fold where neither Elliot or Robert are spending the night.

He falls asleep on the sofa at the pub instead.

 

\--

 

“What are you doing on the sofa, Aaron?” Diane asks him the next morning. “Shouldn’t you be taking Elliot to school?”

“Ugf,” he says intelligently and sits up.

 

“Well, suppose it’s good you have decent friends then,” she says with a happy smile. “Our Robert’s already taken him to school, stayed at yours the entire night so you could have a lad’s night with Adam. You should thank him.”

Aaron stares at her confounded for a moment before it clicks. “Elliot spent the night in Jacob’s Fold?”

Diane gives a confused smile. “Of course. Where else would he be staying? Should I be worrying now?”

Aaron shakes his head. “No, sorry. Must’ve been the alcohol keeping me all hazy.”

Diane, bless her, gives him a pat on the shoulder. “Have some water next time, ey,” she says with a wink.

He gets up and almost runs to Jacob’s Fold, ready to see that Diane is wrong, that Tina really had taken Elliot away. He runs upstairs and sees all of Elliot’s things thrown about the room, ready to be used later that day and his favourite Liverpool ball that Gordon had gotten him for Christmas. Elliot wouldn’t have gone anywhere without that ball, Aaron knows that much, having repeatedly had to fish it out from bushes and on roofs every time they played for fun or Elliot had Samson over.

Aaron’s fished his phone out before his brain catches up and Tina’s replying before he’s got his thoughts sorted.

“Mr. Sugden said you might call,” she tells him warmly. “I am truly sorry for yesterday.”

“What did he say?” he whispers.

“While I cannot condone your willingness to have an affair with a married man, Mr. Sugden made it quite clear that he drove you into despair and has since then spent an extraordinary amount of time trying to make up for it,” she tells him. “He seemed very convinced that my bosses would be making a mistake if they allowed Elliot to be taken away from a brother that is loyal and loving to a fault.”

Aaron feels a peculiar warmth seep through his body, warming the tip of his toes and making him feel safe again.

“I realise that Mr. Sugden’s opinions might be a bit biased, but you didn’t see him, Aaron,” Tina says softly. “He really loves you.”

“Yeah, I know,” he says. “Thank you for fighting my corner. Honest.”

“There is not enough good people in this world,” she says. “Everyone should be given a second chance.”

He floats on cloud nine for hours, busying himself with cleaning the house, though he usually hates the task. He’s whistling in good humour when he sees Sam’s car pull up outside the house and Elliot jumping out with a grin and wave to his new mate. Elliot drags his feet on the ground and seems to be in his own little world. Aaron so rarely sees true smiles on his face and craves them.

Elliot is back where he belongs and Aaron gives him a gigantic hug, a hug he should have given him yesterday before Elliot went off to school, and Aaron had the lousiest day in recent memory. Elliot seems caught off guard, but reaches tentative arms around Aaron’s neck.

“Good to see you again,” Aaron says, sitting on his knees so they are face-to-face. “Did you have a good time with Robert last night?”

Elliot lights up even more. “We had pizza and watched Spiderman,” he says excitedly.

“Yeah?” Aaron urges him and listens to Elliot describe in great detail what the Spiderman movie was about and how Robert knew everything about him.

Aaron decides Robert is a gigantic nerd, but if it makes Elliot talk excitedly, he’s all for it. Apparently, he can trust Robert with more than their secrets. He can trust Robert to take care of Elliot.

"We should invite Robert for a special dinner on Saturday, shouldn't we," Aaron says over tea, Elliot scowling at his green peas.

"He comes for tea all the times," Elliot comments and pushes the peas to one side of the plate with a disgusted frown.

"He helps us both a lot, yeah?"

Elliot nods. "He likes to play keeper. Dad never wanted to be keeper."

Of course Gordon wouldn't.

"We'll do him a roast," Aaron says, even though he's going to have to spend time learning how to make it. He'll do it thought, for Robert. He deserves that much.

Robert came through, he texts Adam when Elliot's gone to bed. Elliot is back home.

Absolute ledge, Adam texts back quickly. He really does fancy ya then.

Aaron falls asleep with a smile on his lips.

 

\--


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was of course never supposed to go up in two parts, which i why part 1 stops a bit abruptly.  
> chapter specific warnings: sex happens in this part. 
> 
> enjoy and thank you all so very much for the comments.

Robert's car is parked in the scrapyard when Aaron arrives after having left Elliot in Marlon's capable hands for the school run. He suspected it, he supposes, Robert hanging around wanting forgiveness. It's a pattern he's seen before and he suspects he will see again.

He still can't help the small flutter coursing through his body.

"Loverboy is inside," Adam shouts from where he is feeding Scrappy the Dog.

Aaron rolls his eyes, taking a deep breath. It's only Robert after all.

He's perched at Aaron's desk, sitting with hands intertwined and shoulders slumped. He still looks nervous the brief second Aaron catches it, before it's hidden behind his usual mask of casual indifference.

"So -" Aaron says, swaying on his heels. "Thanks... for..."

"You don't have to say anything," Robert says, maybe trying to say that he doesn't want the gratitude. It's one of few rare moments where Aaron fully comprehends that Robert's heart pulses away underneath the snipes and the snark. Robert deserves all the gratitude in the world for this, for getting Elliot back.

Aaron wanders over slowly, eyes locked with Robert's, and leans on the arms of the chair, bringing their faces close together. "I love you," he tells Robert and isn't caught off guard when Robert surges up and presses their lips together. He opens his mouth easily, tangling their tongues together in an open-mouthed kiss, feeling Robert's hands cradling his face.

"I couldn't let you lose Elliot," Robert says when they break for air. They've still got their foreheads touching and their bodies pressed together. "Just the thought of it."

"Thank you," Aaron breathes out.

"It scares me what I'm willing to do for you," Robert whispers.

Aaron pulls him back into a kiss.

Adam chooses that moment the throw open the door and they jump apart, so used to the secrecy and lies that it's second nature. Even when they know that Adam knows.

"Don't need to see this," Adam says and covers his eyes. "Maybe we should start doing the sock-on-door thing."

"Piss off, Adam," Aaron says, annoyed and gives Robert a sheepish smile.

"We have costumers, mate," Adam tells him and points outside where a couple of blokes are standing around a car that's falling apart.

"Give us a sec, yeah?" Aaron says because he can see the set of Robert's jaw, how its clenching uncomfortably.

Adam nods knowingly and goes back outside, closing the door after him.

"You shouldn't have told him," Robert says and his voice is completely changed. He no longer radiates quiet strength and love, but instead danger and anger. "Too many people know already. I'm trying to keep Chrissie from burning you alive - or worse."

 

"Don't ruin it, Robert," Aaron tells him, annoyed. He reaches out his hands and pulls Robert closer by his lapels. Robert goes willingly and places his arms around Aaron's shoulders, bending his head down, facing each other a bit easier. "Elliot wants to do you a roast on Saturday for watching him."

"Elliot does?" Robert says, posture softening and a small smile playing on his lips.

Aaron worries his bottom lip, feeling Robert's eyes following the movement. "I might do a bit more when he's gone to bed."

"I'll be there," Robert says quickly.

\--

Robert's in balls-deep the third time the phone rings.

"Leave it," Aaron grunts and tightens his thighs around Robert's hips and digs his nails into Robert's shoulder blades.

Robert's hair is plastered to his forehead, one hand on the headboard on the bed, the other around Aaron's neck and they are locked together tightly. He hesitates though when the phone rings again and stills inside Aaron, grappling for the noisy apparatus.

"What?" He says annoyed and his face changes several colours before settling on bright red. "No, it's not... Yeah, it's me, Chas. What do you want?"

Aaron closes his eyes, annoyed and shifts his hips a little, trying to find a position that doesn't completely hurt his back, eliciting a groan from Robert.

"He's got Elliot, Chas, and he's been drinking," Robert says annoyed and rolls his hips, leaving Aaron to bite his knuckles to keep more noise from filtering to the other end of the phone. "You and Vic what? No, I'll come." Aaron snorts. "Thirty minutes, and I'll be there."

Robert finally puts away the phone and increases his speed exponentially, thrusting grunts and moans out of Aaron while they finish. When he's pulled out and they are lying, arms touching and heavy pants perpetrating the air around them, Robert starts getting up, sighing heavily.

"So, that was a bit awkward," Aaron comments.

Robert stops and gives him a smirk. "Hot though."

Aaron shrugs, but doesn't disagree.

"Chas cut herself, so Vic came to get her and now the car's broken down," Robert says. "Cain is in Liverpool apparently. You were next choice."

"Right, I'll just pop Elliot in the back and go fix the car, shall I," Aaron says sarcastically and Robert grins at him tiredly.

"I'll go instead," Robert says and traces a hand over the scars on Aaron's tummy,

Aaron shivers and watches him go, content and satisfied. He listens to Robert going through the motions and dozes off the second the door clicks shut behind him. It might not be the perfect scenario that he had planned - a night where he got to say 'thank you' to Robert for all the little things such as Jacob's Fold and going to the funeral, but seeing Robert contently taking part in his life... that's possibly the best part.

He startles awake hours later, woken by one of his familiar nightmares, to someone shifting around downstairs and low murmurs perpetrating the quiet night. He gets up and wonders if it's Elliot who heard Robert coming in.

The light is on in the kitchen and he stares blearily at Robert sat at the kitchen table looking forlorn while Victoria is giving him a death glare. Chas is the first one to spot him and might possibly be the person who looks most sheepish.

"It just slipped out," Chas says and Robert winces. "Sorry, love."

Aaron snorts and goes on his tiptoes to reach a bottle of whisky he 'borrowed' from the pub. He pours two glasses and sits one down in front of both the siblings.

"You've done enough," he tells his mum and motions for her to leave. She does eventually after trying to apologise a bit more. It goes on deaf ears, though.

Both Robert and Victoria are frozen, only interrupted by Robert taking a sip from his glass.

"Talk it out," Aaron tells them and brushes by Robert, giving his shoulder a firm but comforting squeeze. "I'll be upstairs if ya need me."

He doesn't fall asleep properly until Robert sneaks in later, nearly naked, and spoons up against Aaron's back, pressing a kiss into the nape of his neck. There are no words exchanged, but from the way Robert clings to him it must have been a straining conversation, one that's got Robert off-footed and in need of reassurance. Aaron gives it gladly.

\--

Victoria is asleep on the sofa when Aaron gets up the next morning. She doesn't look peaceful, sleeping just as fitfully as Robert had. He absentmindedly wonders if she kicks in her sleep as well. He goes back upstairs and finds Elliot just waking up.

"Morning', little man," Aaron says and moves Elliot's legs a bit, so he can sit on the bed.

"Did you watch the end of Harry Potter last night?" Elliot asks groggily.

"Course we did," Aaron reassures him. "Ron won at chess."

They hadn't watched the end, too busy necking like teenagers, and when they were really sure he was asleep they removed their clothes and went to bed.

"Can I ask you something very important?" Aaron asks and Elliot nods seriously. "Did Dad ever say things about men being together like Dad and your mum?"

"Tim from down the street was bloody queer and took it places where you shouldn't," Elliot says matter-of-factly, rehearsed, like it is something to be proud of.

Aaron closes his eyes. "You know how you don't say bad things about people from India and such?" It's one of the few matters of principles that Gordon had ever instilled in Aaron since his largest source of income came from second-generation immigrants.

"It's bad for business," Elliot remarks and sits up in bed. "Have I done something wrong, Aaron?"

"No, you are the best brother I could ever have asked for," Aaron tells him truthfully and squeezes Elliot's foot under the duvet. "But Dad said bad things about gay people most of my life. And it confused me because I thought blokes were a lot better looking than girls, right. I thought I was sick for not liking girls... but it's not true. Gay people are just normal like you and me."

"Like Sanjay down from the kiosk on the corner. Winston from school always said he smelt bad and that his he was missing a tooth in the front," Elliot rattles of happily like its no big deal. "Sanjay always gives me the best sweets and he came to the funeral, even though he's a Muslim."

Prejudice is a social construction that tells Elliot he should think a certain way but when given evidence against it, he just as easily accepts it.

"Is Robert in love with you?" Elliot asks tentatively and looks like he's afraid Aaron will go off on him.

"What makes you say that?" Aaron says and he's so proud of him.

"He looks at you all the times, like Dad always looked at Mum," Elliot says. "His eyes go all soft and happy."

Aaron shivers happily.

"Dad always said that when you love someone a very much, you should support them and kiss them goodnight every night," Elliot continues. "It makes your body go all fuzzy and happy. Like when we had dinner last night and we talked about Harry Potter."

"You're very smart for a nine year-old," Aaron say and dries his eyes. "Me and Robert are in love with each other, right, but it's important that we don't talk about it. Robert thinks it's very hard loving a bloke and he has to think about it before everyone else can know. Do you understand why it's important that we don't say anything?"

Elliot nods. "Because things are really hard when you're a grown up."

"Exactly," Aaron says. "Come on then, give us a hug and then maybe we can have pancakes for breakfast. Because it's Sunday!"

Elliot bounces up, gives Aaron a hug and storms into the bathroom happily.

Aaron lets him and wanders back downstairs where Victoria is staring out of the window, a cuppa in one hand.

"Sorry I went in your cupboards," she says sadly.

"Rough night?" he asks and leans against the kitchen counter beside her.

"You know all those times I kept telling people, and you, that he was a good person, he could surprise people... Yet here I am, the one surprised," she says with a resigned smile. "I knew he was a cheat, you know. I just wanted my brother back."

"Vic," he says softly. "You can't put all the blame on him. I was willing enough, trust me."

"You should have heard the way he was speaking about you last night," she says and bumps his shoulder. "He thinks the world of you, practically worships the ground you walk on."

It's weird to hear someone else's opinion, especially coming from a person that will always take Robert's side over Aaron's. Up until last night, it's only ever been his mum and Paddy and recently Adam, people who will stand Aaron's ground a thousand times over. Maybe Chas did Robert a favour telling Victoria. She may be the only person who sees the same goodness in Robert that Aaron does.

"I love him, too," he tells her. "It's not just a one-way street. We've spent so much time fighting each other, but the second my dad and Sandra's car crashed, he's been here a hundred percent."

She pulls him into a hug. "I know it's complicated, but I've got a feeling it'll all turn good."

He sighs into it awkwardly and hears Elliot bounding down the stairs.

"Pancakes!" He says excitedly.

"Pancakes?" Victoria asks, giving Aaron's shoulder a final squeeze before turning towards Elliot. "I make the best pancakes."

"It's true," Aaron agrees and Victoria gets started, banging around the kitchen and asking Elliot about where everything is.

Elliot chatters away happily and Aaron is glad that Victoria decided to stay. He wouldn't have asked her to make breakfast but he's happy she is. She does make the best pancakes.

When Robert comes down later, he looks surprised she's still there. She gives him a hug and sits him down. "I'm your sister, Rob," she says with a cheeky smile. "You don't scare me that easily. Besides, Aaron's a dead good catch. I should know."

Robert gives him a glare. "You're joking."

"I used to love me a good bad boy and Aaron ticked all the boxes," she grins. "Too bad he didn't fancy me all that much."

"Shut it," Aaron comments and runs his thump over Robert's knuckles.

"Can I have more marmalade, please?" Elliot asks oblivious.

"Sure you can, love," Victoria says and hands him the jar.

"I need to hear more about this," Robert says, hand locked with Aaron's in full view of everyone. No need to hide and all.

\--

He supposes he should have seen it coming, but as it happens, he's still shocked when the letter arrives with a formal request for a meeting with Laura's solicitor.

"She wants to prove that you are an unfit guardian and that the social worker was wrong to place Elliot with you," Rakesh says in his own kitchen, wearing slippers and being generally as dressed down as Aaron has ever seen him.

"Got that much," Aaron says. "What can I do?"

"Under no circumstances go and talk to her or try to make her change her mind. The best thing you can do, from the view of the law, is to follow the procedures, only talk to each other with solicitors present. You will probably get assigned a temporary new social worker who is going to inspect your house and your relations," Rakesh says. "They are also going to want to have a talk with Elliot about what he wants. It's important that you don't force him to make a decision."

He writes all of it down, all the things that might help Aaron and promises to do everything he can for him.

Tina the Social Worker sounds distraught when he calls her and she tells him how work has been hard, especially since Laura has spent time and a lot of money building the case against them both.

"She's made it so we're the ones in the wrong," she says. "I honestly do not believe I made a mistake with you."

But rules are rules and Aaron intends to follow every single one of them, down to the tiniest little detail.

"The nerve," Lisa says when her and Belle are picking up Elliot for the night so Aaron can get started on the paperwork. "He's our blood, Elliot is. He should stay with family."

"Thank you," Aaron tells her truthfully and gives his brother a hug. He's tried to keep it away from Elliot who is causing the upheaval, but he can tell Elliot is sensing it. He wants to keep him at Jacob's Fold, but Robert had talked him out of it, saying that Aaron needed all the help he could.

"You're no longer thinking about going after her then?" Aaron had asked him, remembering the pure rage on Robert's face when he had haltingly told him about Laura bringing solicitors into the mix.

"No, it's about what's best for Elliot and me making a stupid mistake isn't going to help you," Robert had replied sheepishly. "It's better I use my powers of persuasion for good."

Everyone that matters are sat around Aaron's kitchen table, Paddy, his mum, Adam and Robert. Victoria had offered to come but with the way things still are between her and Adam... best not. Aaron tells them all about the situation and what part they all have in making the best possible outcome.

"Rakesh says she has a strong case, about me personally," he says. "But he also believes I can win this. We can win this."

"We need to," Chas remarks. "Alright everyone. Let's get started with our letters."

It feels strange asking the people he loves most to write things about him that makes him a good person, that makes him fit to be a parent. But Rakesh said they would matter in the grand scheme of things, so they all offered. He dreads the one from Robert the most, knows it'll be a mis-mash of emotions that he can barely string together on a good day. But Robert knows him well and as Elliot so eloquently put it; he makes Aaron feel all fuzzy inside.

He goes with Rakesh into Manchester on the day of the meeting with Laura and her solicitor feeling more nervous than he has ever been before. He's never wanted to keep someone as much as he needs Elliot to stay with him. For the first time in his life, he's felt unconditional love and it's addictive. He's reached a place in his life where he's reached a certain happiness he never could have dreamed off.

He promises himself to fight for it tooth and nail when he sees Laura and her husband outside the solicitor's office.

"Remember," Rakesh says out the corner of his mouth. "Don't say or do anything rash."

Laura's solicitor is a grey-haired bloke who introduces himself as Mr Tomlin. He talks in long intelligent sentences that makes Aaron feel stupid, but Rakesh counters everything, all the veiled insults and jabs at Aaron's personality. Later, when he thinks back on that day, the only thing he can properly remember is the way his nails cut into his skin, leaving angry red marks.

"The fact that Mr. Livesy is a gay man should definitely be taken into consideration," Mr. Tomlin says.

"It should definitely not," Rakesh counters. "That is blatant homophobia and will not stand in court."

"Then the fact that he has not had a stable relationship will, no matter if he is gay or not. Statistics shows that there a more upheaval in gay homes..."

"Mr. Tomlin, I must protest and point to the fact that divorce rates between straight couples are much higher. Mr. Livesy's history shows a remarkable loyalty to the people he loves, the situation with Jackson Walsh comes to mind, and I will not condone you or your client's treatment of him just because he is a homosexual man. I will talk when your main point isn't about how he is not fit to watch his brother by blood because he is gay," Rakesh says with chilling precision. He stands up. "Good day, Mr Tomlin."

Aaron stands up behind him and follows him out.

"If they bring up anymore of this homophobic dung, we will find a judge and a policeman willing to look at those messages Laura sent you," Rakesh tells him and only when they're out of sight and even out of the city. It's the first hint of Rakesh showing any other emotion than sharp intelligence. He seems disgusted.

"There is something I have to tell you," Aaron says. "They might use it against us. It's about me and Robert."

\--

Robert looks relieved when Aaron arrives back at Jacob's Fold and doesn't break down. He pulls him into a hug and Aaron enjoys it for the split second it lasts, knowing it might be the last one he will get in a while.

"Have I done something?" Robert says worriedly when they're sat by themselves at dinner. Elliot is with Belle, doing some school project. "You've been very... quiet."

"We need to talk about us," Aaron says softly and Robert's face changes instantly.

"Please, don't," Robert says brokenly. "Don't break up with me."

"You can't break up with someone you aren't even in a relationship with," Aaron tells him and he tries to keep the bitterness out of his voice.

"I sleep here almost every night. We have sex."

Aaron closes his eyes. He doesn't want this conversation to happen either. The thought of having to throw out Robert now that he needs the support more than ever doesn't sit well with him. "Then why don't you go and tell everyone? Why are you still hiding?"

"We've talked about this!" Robert says devastated. "I'm keeping Lawrence and Chrissie off our backs."

"No, you know that's not true," Aaron says and he has to be hard for this. "You're just after their money and their contacts. If you truly wanted this, me, you wouldn't still be hiding."

"I don't just want this," Robert says and tries to grab his hand. "I need you and this."

"I'm sorry," he says, voice breaking. "I need you to leave."

Robert leans back in his chair and he looks defeated. He opens and closes his mouth several times and Aaron desperately hopes he says anything that will convince Aaron he isn't right, that the reason the affair is still the best kept secret in the village isn't because Robert is greedy. He doesn't and eventually gets up and leaves, running back to his oblivious brother and back to his cushy job at Home Farm.

Aaron tries not to let it affect him, but he struggles without Robert there. Elliot can sense it, everyone can sense something is off. Most think it's the custody hearings that has got his mind all jumbled, and it is, but mostly it's just Robert.

"I've tried talking sense with him," Victoria whispers to him in the pub. "He completely blanks me, doesn't want to talk at all."

"Serves him right being miserable," Aaron replies coolly. "I don't need the hassle."

"Why can't you just remind him why you're worth fighting for?" She suggests. "He probably thinks you've given up on him, that Elliot is all that's worth anything to you now."

"Elliot is what's most important to me."

Victoria winces. "I wasn't implying anything else. But Rob's also important, isn't he?"

He tries not to let her words get to him, but they do. She’s right and it’s strange having someone fight in Robert’s corner.  
He takes action the next day while Elliot is in school. It needs to be public and noisy, just enough to create suspicion but not to blow the whole thing. As much as he’s sometimes dreamt about standing up in the middle of the pub and tell everyone about Robert’s lies, he can’t force someone to come out. Robert isn’t gay, but he is something that isn’t completely straight either.

Lawrence and Chrissie arrives at the pub for lunch and Robert joins them shortly after, sitting with his phone out and making a point of staring at Aaron as often as possible without alerting his soon-to-be ex-wife. Their paperwork is in the works, but formally, the sham of a marriage is still legal in the eyes of the law.

Aaron slinks outside behind the pub, knowing Robert won’t dare follow him when Chrissie is right there. He sees the Ashton Martin right away and quickly pops the hood, fixing it so it’ll make weird spurty noises the moment Robert turns the ignition. Then he sits down to wait.

“Do you want some tea, dear?” Edna asks from her garden.

He startles and turns around. “I’m good, thanks.”

“Care to tell my why exactly you’re out here - and I believe the correct word is lurking?” she says suspiciously.

He looks at her guiltily.

“Is it for a good cause?” she asks with a frown.

“Definitely,” he tells her truthfully. “Maybe you should go and visit Pearl?”

“Yes, maybe I should,” she says. “Just… don’t get into trouble, young man.”  
He snorts and watches her disappear inside and leave shortly after with Tootsie on her leash.

Robert comes out of the pub by himself, doing something on his phone and not seeing Aaron lurking behind the corner. He hops in his car and it sputters just as Aaron had predicted and he hits the stirring wheel in annoyance. He gets out, pops the hood and quickly catches onto the fact that it’s been tampered with.

“Are you kidding me?” he grunts in annoyance and Aaron smirks to himself.

Robert closes the hood again and wanders off to the garage, not even bothering to call ahead since it’s so close by. As soon as he is out of sight, Aaron appears, axe in hand, and breaks into a run before jumping onto the hood. He sends an apology to the car gods and brings the axe over his head, swinging it with enough force to smash the windshield. It feels better than he thought and he grins before bringing the axe back down onto the roof.

“What the hell are you doing?” he hears Chrissie shriek. “I’m calling the police!”

He gives her a short look, shrugs his shoulders and crashes the axe down onto the roof again. It’s not until he’s got Andy and Ross pulling him down and forcibly taking away the axe that he stops.

“Are you out of your mind?” Ross shouts. “You’ve got Elliot to be thinking about!”

Aaron snorts and sits down on one of the benches and patiently watches as a crowd builds. He vaguely registers the coppers coming around sooner than he thought. They must have been close by. It’s not until then that Robert comes running back, staring confused at the scene in front of him.

“Who did that to my car?” he shouts angrily.

“I did,” Aaron speaks up loudly. “You told me to, remember?”

Robert freezes. “I…”

“That makes no sense?” Chrissie says. “That was mindless.”

“Tell them,” Aaron urges him, chin raised and eyes steeled.

He’s a good liar, a great bullshitter and Aaron isn’t wrong. Robert relaxes his body, forces down the harsh slope of his shoulders and grins. It’s startling and exactly what Aaron expected him to do. He’s seen it before, how he can go from angry to playing a part in a manner of seconds. Aaron can tell though when he lies, like now.

“Yes, it was a bet,” Robert says, grinning easily and spreading out his arms.

“A bet?” one of the coppers says disbelieving.

“Yeah, sorry, slipped my mind,” he tells him. “It’s just a car, isn’t it? In the grand scheme of things.”

“Mr. Sugden, if you’re lying…” the other copper says.

“What would be the point?” Robert says easily. “Of course, he had my permission.”

The police eventually leaves and taking with them most of the crowd.

“Why are you protecting him?” Aaron hears Andy asking. “I know he’s your friend, but that wasn’t a friendly bet.”

He listens to Robert’s half-assed lies to keep his brother off his back and tells Chrissie and Lawrence to get back to work without him.

“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing,” Ross says to Aaron with a smirk. “But you’re doing it right. What were you doing?”

“Proving a point,” Aaron tells him and claps his shoulder, proud of himself. “And it worked.”

Ross gives him a partly impressed, partly disturbed look, but in the end he grins. “We should hang out more.”

“No, we shouldn’t,” Aaron says disgusted and ducks into the pub the moment he sees Robert evading Andy and following him.

“What are you playing at?” Robert says the moment he catches up with Aaron in the back of the pub. “I had to lie for you.”

“Yeah, I know, that was the point,” Aaron says and sits down on the couch. He wanted the confrontation and Robert reacts just as he predicted.

“I don’t know what I did wrong this time,” Robert says crushed. “That was my car.”

“It’s just a thing,” Aaron says. “It doesn’t mean anything.”

“So you crushed it because you’re jealous of a car?”

Aaron rolls his eyes. “Are you for real? You think it had anything to do with the car?”

“What am I supposed to think? You dump me, ignore me and then take an axe to my car,” Robert says. “Is this some joke I’m not getting?”

“Robert, just think. Why would you lie for me? Why didn’t you rattle on me?” Aaron asks him calmly.

“For Elliot,” Robert says.

“And?”

Robert averts his eyes.

“And?” Aaron asks again.

“Because I love you,” Robert says. “You know all of this.”

Aaron steps closer to him and cradles his face in his hands. “Listen to me,” he whispers. “You don’t need Lawrence’s money. You’re smart enough to get it on your own without them. I know you want Home Farm and I think you can have it. But you can have it without the White’s. They don’t matter.”  
Robert grip his wrists and nuzzles his cheeks against Aaron’s palms. “Don’t…”

“No,” Aaron says. “This is me begging. For the last time.”

“I love you,” Robert says softly.

“I know,” Aaron says. “I want you to be yourself, with or without me. Please, just be true to yourself.”

He feels guilty later, how he made Robert confront his feelings. But he needed Robert to see and understand where he was coming from. He’s tried it all, tried to repress who he really was and he barely survived it. It’s not worth it, hiding, being someone you’re not. Aaron’s under no illusions that Robert will change or automatically become a person who isn’t greedy, petty and jealous of things he can’t have. They are human faults though, things that are fleeting and so superficial compared to watching Elliot turn into a more calm and happy person than the horrified orphaned boy he first met. Sitting at home surrounded by his family, knowing that he is supported and cherished; all of that means more than a stupid car.

But Robert resists, pushing Aaron away firmly. “Don’t make me into something I’m not.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. I’m not gay and I never will be.”

“Stop putting words in my mouth,” Aaron says and tries to reach out for him again. “I’ve never asked you to be anything but yourself.”

“Well, I’m sorry I can’t be your perfect boyfriend, that I can’t love you like you want me to,” Robert says bitterly.

Aaron sighs and rubs his forehead.

“Maybe it’s just better if we stay away from each other,” Robert says, hands on his hips.

“Robert, stop lying to yourself,” Aaron pleads.

“All that matters in this is Elliot,” Robert says. “Not us. Him. Don’t ever forget that.”

The silence that follows is unbearable. All Aaron wants it for Robert to give him a hug. Instead, they are back to this heartbreak, this thing that always, always, keeps them apart.

Diane barges in and luckily for Robert, they are far apart, driven away from each other by the building resentment. This isn’t what Aaron wanted. This is all wrong.

“Why are you two always fighting?” she says and she’s ignorant, so ignorant about all of it. Everyone are starting to figure out that something is going on, something more that goes beyond casual friendship. Why can’t Robert see that he’s cornered?

“It’s not like you’ll tell me anyway,” Diane says. “I’m beginning to understand why Chas has a coronary every time you’re in the same room together. Aaron, go home and get your brother back for good. Stop making trouble for yourself.”

Aaron bites his lip to keep himself from spilling all of it. He leaves instead, trying to keep the bitterness from showing on his face.

“Aaron, luv?” Chas says when he goes through the pub. “Are you all right?”

He wipes his eyes and she follows him back to Jacob’s Fold where she gives him a cuddle while his heart breaks like a little child.

“He’s bitter because he loves you,” she whisper in a soothing tone. “He just grown so used to hiding it. Love, I hate that you have to go through this.”

He doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t understand why he keeps putting himself through it.

\--

There isn’t any time dwelling on the latest drama with Robert because two days later, the new social worker comes unannounced just as Aaron comes home doing the school run. Elliot has been moody the entire day and had gotten into trouble with the teacher and now Aaron is taking the brunt of it.

“I’m not saying it again,” Aaron says determinedly. “If you don’t behave, there will be no footy for a month.”

“Why isn’t Rob here? He won’t say no to me,” Elliot fights back.

“Robert is busy at work and he would tell you the exact same thing,” Aaron says.

Elliot throws his rucksack in the corner. “He can’t be at work all the time.”

“Elliot, please, do as I say or go to your room.”

Elliot huffs and goes upstairs to his room, banging the door behind him, just as the doorbell rings.

Aaron is already annoyed when he answers it and sees an official-looking lady on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“I’m Mrs. Tillman,” the lady says. “I’m the new social worker assigned to your case.”

Aaron sighs. “Come inside and I’ll make you a cuppa.”

She accepts gratefully and he wants to hate her. She’s just doing her job, so he can’t.

“How is he?” she asks.

“He knows something is wrong,” Aaron tells her honestly. “He was at a good place, emotionally, before. It’s hard again.”

“I hope you understand why we are doing this?”

He nods. “I’ll fight for him. Maybe Laura is better at being a parent and has her life sorted. But I should get a chance, too. I need a new chance.”

“Tina’s only had good words to say about you,” she tells him and she sounds honest enough. “I promise I will be fair.”

He tells her thank you. She goes upstairs to talk to Elliot alone. They are upstairs for a good hour while Aaron tries not to fret. When they finally appear, Elliot is giving her a guided tour of their house, proud of every single room. He shows her the Liverpool ball that he finally retired after it nearly got run over by a car. It now sits on a pedestal on a shelf in the living room while he’s got another much cheaper Liverpool ball. Robert got it for him.

She doesn’t look put out or even upset, only considering and inquisitive, asking sensible questions that Elliot happily answers. It’s rare Aaron sees him so open to strangers.

“It was fantastic meeting you both,” she says some time later. She shakes both their hands, getting down on one knee to shake Elliot’s.

“Mrs. Tilman,” Elliot says just as she’s turned towards the door. “I like it here.”

“Thank you for telling me, Elliot,” she says, nodding. “Now I do need to go.”

“Did I do good?” Elliot asks child-like when she’s gone.

Aaron pulls him into a hug. “You’re perfect, little man. Absolutely perfect.”

Elliot hugs him back and Aaron falls into the comfort.

The deadline for the letters approaches and Aaron hears his friends and family sending them off. He wants to believe it can make all the difference, but logically there has to be contributing factors. He knows Mrs. Tilman has visited Paddy with Rakesh and Laura’s despicable solicitor Mr. Tilman. He also knows Mr. Tilman turned his nose at the Dingle Farm, believing it wasn’t good enough. He doesn’t see the family or the relationships that go into making that family worth more than what kind of furniture sits in the living room.

They finally settle on November 20th for the final closed hearing, and it’s comforting knowing that there is a set date he can work around. It’s no longer an uncertain thing in the future but a fact. On that day, Elliot will either leave or stay and there won’t be a thing he can do other than try to follow all the things Rakesh wrote down for him.

Belle has taken over most of Elliot’s tutoring and Aaron can see how she blossoms into it, loving every single part of getting Elliot to understand. Maybe she sees herself in him, just as Aaron sees himself in her. It’s a purpose and they do well with a purpose.

Robert came back as well, sort of asking for Aaron’s forgiveness, but things have changed between them. Aaron can see his hands itching to reach out and touch Aaron, but he doesn’t, knowing he isn’t allowed. Their conversations are strained and uncomfortable, only instigated when Elliot is around and entirely for his benefit. They are wrong-footed around each other, completely unable to reach anything resembling a new status quo, but unable to completely be apart either. It’s another of their usual destructive circles, except this time there are a lot more people able to recognize it for the trainwreck it is.

The car is gone now, Robert’s car, that is. He’s driving one of the maroon Home Farm cars and when Aaron asks Cain why he hasn’t got the Ashton Martin fixed, Cain tells him he’s sold it. It’s strange and keeps Aaron unable to stay mad at Robert.

He’s brooding over it while Belle’s tutoring Elliot with Adam droning on about something he couldn’t care less about. Adam’s aware thought that he’s only half-listening, and is only talking to keep the silence from becoming too much.

“Mate, you’re making the pub miserable,” Adam says when he’s finally had enough.

“It’s a building,” Aaron states deadpan. “It’s not got feelings.”

“It’s a metaphor, Aaron.”

 

Aaron shakes his head. “You wouldn’t know what a metaphor was if it smacked you in the head.”

“Well, I’m dead common. I’ve got an excuse,” Adam says, latching onto Aaron’s willingness to banter just a bit.

“Dead common for a dimwit,” Aaron mutters.

Adam actually looks offended for a second. “Alright, I’m sick of your moping, mate. Get over it.”

“Piss off,” Aaron says and turns his head towards the door where Chrissie’s just stormed inside. He startles to attention though when her eyes focuses on him and she starts coming towards him.

“What have you done to him?” she screams at him.

“Chrissie, calm down,” he tells her softly.

She ribs a piece of paper out of her purse. “What is this filth? Why are you making him write these lies for you?”

“What lies?” he asks.

“This love letter to you. For your custody hearings. It’s filth and trash. If any of that is true my entire marriage was a sham from the start!”

He doesn’t have the heart to tell her that her marriage was doomed to fail at some point no matter what, no matter if Aaron had even been in the picture. Robert would have grown bored in his own time. He grabs the paper and starts reading.

 

_To whom it may concern,_

_My name is Robert Sugden. There was never any doubt that I should write this letter to help ensure that Elliot stays with his brother, Aaron Livesy. There are many words to describe Aaron; honest, loyal, kind, brave. I could keep going on. But the only word that truly matters is loving. He has so much love to give and I am one of the few lucky enough to be loved by him. He loves completely and without reservation. When you are first pulled into his orbit, it’s hard to leave. Believe me when I say I have tried many times._

_No matter the ruling in the custody battle, Aaron will have made an impression on Elliot, one that he will carry for the rest of his life, one he will resent Laura for when he’s older. Aaron never hesitated when they contacted him about Elliot. He knew he did not have the qualifications or even the money, but he had love and a willingness to correct the wrongs that his own parents made in his upbringing. He instantly surrounded Elliot with family and loyal friends and made the rest of us fall in love with Elliot. I can barely remember Aaron from before, but I do know he was not as happy, not as settled as he is now._

_Aaron has support from his family and an entire village who has seen him turn from a rambunctious youth to a brave young man. He has me - whether he wants my love or not. I made a lot of promises on my wedding day to a woman I thought I loved, but they seem hollow compared to the promises I made on that very same day to a man I truly love. He has made me a better man, a man who finally understands the value of family and how when you reach for something, you don’t need to compromise yourself in the process._

_I can say with utmost certainty that if you take Elliot away from him, you will have made a mistake. Aaron will give Elliot a decent life, a proper education and a family that will love him unconditionally. Elliot will be in safe hands._

_With the kindest respect,_

_Robert._

 

His heart is beating fast and hard, thundering away in his chest.

“Say something,” Chrissie begs him. “Please tell me it’s all lies. I can’t handle anything else.”

“Chrissie…”

“God, I could see it in his face, the way he was staring at you,” she says, crying. “I kept telling myself that you were just friends, that he didn’t love you.”

“I didn’t mean…” he tries, but she cuts him off.

“How long?”

He swallows. “Long.”

“Tell me how long!” she shouts. “Tell exactly how long you’ve been seeing my husband!”

“He wasn’t your husband back then,” he tells her and he sees Diane and Andy’s shocked face behind her face.

She smacks him and he takes it, his cheek stinging angrily. “Tell me.”

“December 4th,” he finally says. “He pretended his car broke down. He planned all of it, wanted to get me on my own.”

“Is that why he was late to the wedding? He was with you?”

He nods and he’s got angry tears stubbornly escaping his eyes. They must look a right scene, both of them having snot coming out of their noses, crying over a bloke. What’s their love come to? Is it worth it?

“I need to know you won’t mess with Elliot’s custody hearings,” he says, voice shaking.

“What?” she says uncomprehendingly.

“Cos he’ll come after ya,” Aaron tells her, knowing deep in his gut how true it is. He can see it in the words of Robert’s letter, his declarations. All of it is heartfelt. “He’ll come at ya with everything he has.”

“And you just know this?”

“The difference between you and I is that I knew exactly who I was going to bed with,” he says. “Did you?”

Her face freezes in surprise. She opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, speechless.

“Just when I think he’s changed, he goes and does this,” Diane burst out in the otherwise silent pub. “Let me see that letter,” she says and comes towards Aaron.

He keeps it away from her. It’s private and she doesn’t need to know Robert’s private feelings. Robert should have told her himself.

“Aaron, give it to me,” she says with grim determination.

“She has the right to know,” Adam urges and brushes Aaron’s shoulder.

He flinches away from it and sees the pub door opening, first him mum and then Robert coming through, looking to be in the middle of one of their usual snarky spats. It’s not until they’ve reached the counter that they finally react to the cool atmosphere inside.

“Have we missed something?” Chas asks awkwardly.

“Chrissie blew the affair,” Adam says helpfully.

Aaron watches Robert’s world fall apart and it’s a lot less fun than he thought it would be. It’s nothing like when Chrissie threw him out last time for sleeping with some ‘random’. That whole situation hadn’t been as surprising as Robert wanted everyone to believe. It had been planned, orchestrated weeks in advance to cause the least amount of trouble. It had been something Robert could control. Chrissie finding out on her own doesn’t fit into Robert’s schemes and it won’t sit right by him.

Aaron braces himself for impacts, knows it’ll come harder on him than anyone else.

“What have you said?” Robert says angrily.

“Nothing,” Aaron says.

“Of course you did,” he shouts and takes a couple of steps towards Aaron. “It’s what you wanted!”

Chas grabs his arm angrily. “If he wanted to blow the affair, he would have done it months ago, Robert! He wouldn’t do it now in the middle of Elliot’s custody battle. He should have done it months ago!”

“Oh God, you knew, too!” Chrissie says. “Am I the only person who didn’t know?”

“No one was supposed to know!” Robert comments.

“You’re a hypocrite, is what you are,” Aaron snorts at him. “Stop hiding! There is no need anymore!”

“Stop telling me what to do!”

“Stop telling me what to do! You can’t lie to me.”

They are in each other faces and both Adam and Andy’s both got a hold of their arms, keeping them away from each other. They don’t understand that it’s usual, that this always happens and that they won’t hurt each other. At least not physically.

“Why didn’t you get the car fixed?” Aaron says calmly, but it’s a fake calm, one that simmers under the surface, ready to burst. “Cain told me you sold it.”

Robert snorts and swallows, so Aaron sees the lie before he says it. “That had nothing to do with you.”

“You’re lying,” Aaron calls him out. “I can see it on your face.”

Robert tears himself away from his brother, turns away from Aaron while rubbing his forehead, before he finally puts his hands on his hips, and turns back around with a steely expression.

“Watch what you’ll say,” Chas snaps and Robert closes his mouth again.

Aaron could have handled it.

“I’m done,” Robert says instead. “I’m done with this place.”

“Right you are,” Chas says.

“Don’t be hasty,” Diane chips in. “Just tells us what’s been going on. You don’t need to run.”

“She’s right, Rob,” Andy says.

Robert shrugs it all off. “No, I’m done.”

He turns away from all of them, one final long look at Aaron, and moves towards the door.

“So, you’re just going to leave Elliot? That boy loves ya and you’re leaving because of pride,” Aaron speaks up and Robert hesitates. “I should of never have listened to anything ya had to say. All talk, except when it matters.”

“Bye, Aaron,” Robert says and leaves.

\--

The news spreads like wildfire, but Aaron can’t focus on any of it. He’s still got a child to take care of and Elliot hadn’t taken the news of Robert leaving well.

“Robert always helps me on Mondays,” Elliot shouts in the caf, loud enough for most of the village to overhear. “Why can’t you just apologise like last time? Dad always apologised.”

“Dad’s dead, Elliot, and won’t be apologising to anybody,” Aaron snaps and surprises himself. He feels terrible afterwards when Elliot’s eyes grow round and tearful.

“I hate you,” Elliot screams and runs out.

“Elliot!” Aaron shouts after him, but Victoria pushes him back down into his armchair and chases after him.

“Kids, ey,” Bob says awkwardly.

“Don’t talk to me,” Aaron says angrily, crossing his arms.

It’s not fair because he misses Robert, too, and Elliot isn’t making it any easier. He’s still got a custody battle to fight and he’s got Rakesh constantly pulling at him to do this and that, like he’s got more than twenty-four hours in a day. He’s at the brink, especially as he’s now got judging eyes on him everywhere he goes. He’s got people telling him he shouldn’t of gotten involved with Robert and whatnot. He could have told every single one of them, but it doesn’t hurt any less to hear. He’s got his mother though fighting his corner and the Dingles pulling a protective circle him. It’s nice to know they care in that special judgmental way of theirs.

Lawrence, however, had predictably gone ballistic, and no Dingle warning could keep him away from Aaron. The only thing that saved Aaron from near death in the form of Lawrence’s car was Edna coming around at exactly the right moment.

He sits down in front of Aaron now, in full view of the café, and crosses his arms.

“Not today, Lawrence,” Aaron says annoyed.

Lawrence gives him a calculating looks, but doesn’t move. “Edna says Robert has been practically living up at Jacob’s Fold since you moved in.”

Aaron shrugs. “It’s none of your business.”

“It’s become my business since I read that letter he wrote about you,” Lawrence says. “The love letter.”

“It isn’t a love letter.”

Lawrence snorts. “Of course it is, lad. I wrote plenty to Edna’s husband. Those words came from his heart. Is he gay, then? Because, I can understand certain… things if he is.”

“What’s the point?” Aaron asks him resigned.

“Because what he’s done, it’s horrible and I will never forgive him,” Lawrence says truthfully. “But I, more than most, will understand what it means to struggle with your sexuality. I just need to understand.”

Aaron sighs. He doesn’t want to get into any of this, especially when Robert won’t even put words to it. But Robert chose to leave and the people he hurt still wants answers. “I wasn’t the first,” he tells Lawrence. “There was one night stands before me and it was obvious, you know.”

Lawrence squirms uncomfortably, but nods.

“They weren’t real, though, in his mind. Chrissie was real to him, your approval,” Aaron says honestly, thinking back towards the beginning when everything was still fresh and Aaron got chills every time Robert took the time to call or write. Because he did a lot, back in the beginning, writing filthy things keeping Aaron keen and wanting it more and more. He feels pathetic now. “We were just distractions.”

“What changed?”

“Katie,” Aaron says, because it did raise the stakes, just not in a way everyone thinks. “He didn’t want Chrissie when she died.”

“Katie was convinced Robert was cheating on Chrissie,” Lawrence says. “We should have listened, shouldn’t we? Did she ever have tangible proof?”

Aaron thinks about the texts and the photo. “No, she never knew the whole story.”

“And Robert?”

“I think he loved Chrissie, he certainly found her attractive enough. He loved Katie, too,” Aaron tells Lawrence. “I think he’s bisexual. But he’s never said anything outright. He’s never had the guts.”

They sit in silence together for a bit and Aaron absently wonders if he should try to find Victoria and Elliot. But he can’t summon up the energy, especially because she’s the closet thing Elliot will get to Robert. Victoria knows Robert in certain ways that Elliot will relate to. She’s probably the better option when he’s in that mood.

“Thank you, Aaron,” Lawrence says. “I promise I won’t hurt your custody hearing. But Robert will have his comeuppance.”

“Yeah, you’ll try,” Aaron says, because he knows that whatever fight Robert and Lawrence have will intensify a lot more now. They’ve had trouble with each other for months, but this tops all of it and cause more drama for everyone involved. Aaron’s got faith, though, in Robert. He’s got to with what he’s seen Robert do and knowing how far he’s willing to go for power and influence. At least he won’t be caught in the crossfire.

Victoria brings Elliot home later that night and he’s sullen. He looks tired most of all, with red-rimmed eyes and his hair in disarray, like Victoria has been running her hands through it.

“I don’t hate you,” Elliot says with his arms crossed.

Aaron doesn’t care as long as he came back. He pulls him into a hug that Elliot accepts easily and invites Victoria in for tea. She begs off politely and they are left alone. They eat toast for dinner, both of them not feeling very hungry, and then they sit down in front of the telly to catch up on the sports news. It’s become a regular pastime for them and Elliot soaks up every little bit, gathering all the information away for trivia games that Robert likes to play with him.

Gordon was born in Liverpool but moved away later for work. If there is one thing Aaron remembers from his childhood besides hating every single part of it, was that there was always peace in the house when Liverpool was on. Elliot must have had the same experience, because they are both Liverpool fans through and through. It’s funny how some things remain the same, even though there are so many years between them. Gordon was a shitty father to them both, but at least he’s given them this.

“I know you’ve been fighting,” Elliot almost whispers. “I just want him to come back.”

Aaron pulls him in closer. “I do, too, little man. Sometimes grown-ups are weird and they don’t always do what we want them to.”

“That’s true,” Elliot states and proceeds to fall asleep, so Aaron has to struggle to carry him upstairs. He might be a child, but he’s still nine years old. Aaron just wants the hearing to come quickly. The uncertainty is killing him, having to constantly worry if this will be the last time he properly puts Elliot to bed or if he shouldn’t take a less hard parenting route. He doesn’t even know who to talk to. Andy maybe? But Andy’s made it pretty clear that he’s not Aaron’s biggest fan because of the whole affair thing.

Why did it have to come out now? Robert had so many chances and he wasted every single one of them because he was scared. Now it’s too late and the hearing’s still coming.

\--

The day of reckoning came much sooner than Aaron expects and leaves his stomach in knots. The only thing keeping his mind relatively clear is the daily routines he has with Elliot.

Light filters through his blinds, unusual in November, and his body feels heavy and unmovable. He rubs his eyes open and forces himself to stand, put decent clothes on, all laid out by his mum the night before. He wants to go in the room two doors down and see his brother sleeping, but he can’t. Elliot is staying with Zak and Lisa since Aaron will spend the majority of the day in court.

He goes through the motions silently, only vaguely paying attention to the telly that he automatically turned on for Elliot’s sake. Elliot still isn’t there.

His mum knocks on his door soon after, bringing brekkie from Victoria. “Everyone is dead worried, luv,” she tells him and pulls him into a hug. “We’ve got a good chance.”

“I know, mum,” he says and thinks about the full hour last night he spent practicing his speech in the mirror upstairs. He’s knows all the words by heart, carefully written out with Finn and Rakesh’s help. They are the smartest people he knows (besides Robert) and every word is thoughtful and insightful while coming straight from his heart.

The food tastes like ash in his mouth and he swallows two cups of coffee, before leaving the house. Paddy pulls up in his car and Aaron gets in the back, allowing his mother and Paddy to share worried glances. He can’t think of a single thing to say the whole way to the courthouse in Manchester other than to comment on the car following them all the way.

“Oh, that’s just Debbie and Belle,” Paddy says nervously.

“And Vic,” Chas remarks. “And Andy and Diane.”

“Why are they coming?” he asks surprised.

Paddy laughs nervously. “Victoria said something about supporting your in-laws and that.”

“I think her exact words were ‘my brother is a twit, so we’re coming’,” Chas deadpans.

“Right,” Aaron mumbles surprised.

Rakesh spent the night in Manchester to prepare and he meets them at the courthouse, looking spiffy in his official clothes. “You ready, Aaron?” he asks.

“Uh no?” Aaron tells him, trying to control his hammering heart.

“You remember everything we talked about?” Rakesh says seriously.

“Yeah.”

“Good, let’s get inside,” he says and leads the way.

Rakesh had warned him how hard it would be to sit in front of a judge and listen to two solicitors barter for a child, pointing good things and bad things out about everything. He has to sit through Mr. Tomlin calling him a low-life criminal who has no sense of responsibility whatsoever and therefore shouldn’t be the primary caretaker of a child.

“Mr. Livesy, I would like to hear your personal statement,” the judge says and Aaron stands up, wringing his hands nervously.

Last night, before he drove him up to the Dingle farm, Elliot came up to him and pressed a little present into his hand, looking well proud. He told Aaron it was for luck and if he ever got nervous, he should just turn it three times in his hand and he would be courageous again.

Aaron turns the little Hedwig keychain three times in front of the court and his friends and relatives. And that’s when he spots Robert sitting beside a beaming Victoria. His heart stops and any courage he has disappears as quickly as it came before. That is until Robert gives him a sheepish smile and mouth ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I love you’.

Then suddenly the words starts pouring, heartfelt and true, and they ring true in his own ears. He loves Elliot more than anything in this world and want to give the boy the best upbringing he can in a village where he has a large support system family-wise and friends willing to drop everything to help him. When he sits back down again, it feels like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders and he knows with a startling clarity that he has done everything he possibly can.

Around three in the afternoon, the judge calls a break, allowing Aaron to see his family.

“You muppet,” he tells Robert the moment he sees him.

Robert sighs. “Don’t hate me? I’ve come to my senses?”

“Uh, one more time with feelings, Robert,” Victoria commands from somewhere else. “I know you have them.”

“Shut it, Vic,” Aaron says and refocuses on Robert instead.

He’s got his best suit on, the one that Aaron has a very nice memory of pulling off. It makes him ten times sexier that he made the effort today, knowing Aaron would appreciate even more.

“Have I passed your inspection?” Robert asks nervously.

“You’ll do,” Aaron says and flushes.

 

“All right, then,” Robert says and pulls Aaron in by his labels.

“You sure?” Aaron whispers.

Robert kisses him. In view of everyone. No peck either, but a proper kiss where Aaron feels lightheaded and his heart bursts through his chest. “Yeah,” Robert says, leaning his forehead against Aaron’s. “I have never been more sure.”

“When you two are done sucking each other’s face, the judge is ready for you,” Rakesh says with a wry smile.

Aaron and Robert part awkwardly and Aaron coughs and straightens his jacket.

“Good luck,” Robert says and gives his hand a final squeeze.

“We have reviewed the evidence given, read letters, talked to families and have come to a final conclusion to who should be given full custody of Elliot Livesy,” the judge says. “Upon first placing Elliot, Tina Terraby chose a distant brother who he had never met. However, Mr. Livesy accepted the responsibility quickly and followed every single instruction given by Social Services. And while I do accept that Mr. Livesy is young and has had trouble with the law on several occasions, I found that in these cases one should listen to the child in question. Elliot loves you, Mrs. Lancaster,” the judge tells Laura. “But he expressed a certain confusion over why he should stay with an auntie instead of his brother. I am sorry, but my final decision lies with Mr. Livesy.”

He hears hooting in the court, but it’s all distant.

He’s keeping his brother, his brave little brother who chose him over someone he has known his entire life.

He feels Rakesh gives his arm a happy puff, but he can’t move. He’s surprised but so happy.

Someone shouts for silence.

“Word of advice, Mrs. Lancaster,” the judge speaks up again. “While my decision was heavily influenced by Elliot’s own wishes, my respect lies with Mr. Livesy’s way of handling this entire process. At no time has he spoken out of turn or attacked you personally. I did however come in possession of text messages sent to him from your phone that were highly inappropriate and a direct insult to his sexual orientation. The British justice system cannot rule in favour of homophobia, as we are no longer in the Dark Ages. If you pester him now that the final decision has been made, the law will have to take action against you. You are free to visit Elliot upon agreement with Mr. Livesy. Good day.”

There are very few instances in life where Aaron can say that everything has truly gone his way. He’s dumb from happiness and he has a feeling he will cry the second he sees Elliot.

He accepts everyone’s congratulations for what they are, knowing there is little chance he will ever feel this again, this complete happiness.

“Let’s just hop in the car and get back to Emmerdale, yeah,” Robert tells everyone. “I think someone is ready to see his brother.”

“You’re still in trouble, you know,” Aaron tells him when they’re sat in his own Polo that Robert apparently had stolen before coming to the courthouse in Manchester. As always Robert looks huge compared to the little car, but he seems at ease behind the wheel, especially because it’s just the two of them, though Chas had been somewhat reluctant to leave Aaron’s side. Her eyes had been red and swollen in happiness. Just as his must be.

“I know it won’t be easy, but I’ve never had a family before,” Robert says honestly, intertwining their fingers. “I have a family worth fighting for now. And I can’t just let that go.”

Aaron leans against the door, watching Robert drive, and he can feel the soft smile on his lips. “Say it again.”

“Which part?” Robert grins.

“I don’t care,” Aaron says. “Tell me anything.”

“You and Elliot are a family worth fighting for and I will,” Robert obliges. “I promise you I will.”

“Okay, when you put it like that,” Aaron says softly. “I guess I will have to put up with you.”

\--

Boxing Day

\--

Aaron’s crouching between Robert’s spread legs, long lean back exposed to his hungry gaze as he trails kisses down Robert’s spine. Robert grunts quietly when Aaron pulls almost all the way out and thrusts back in sharply.

“Do that again,” Robert urges and Aaron can see his huge hands fisting the sheets when he complies, thrusting in and out hard enough to satisfy, but not enough for the bed to croak and groan. That would be awkward and has happened on occasion. One time led to an encounter that Aaron would rather forget because it’s so embarrassing.

“I love you like this,” he whispers into Robert’s ear, elbows on each side of Robert’s head.

“Feel powerful, do ya?” Robert says cheekily.

Aaron pulls him into a kiss from an awkward angle, but it wipes the smirk off Robert’s lips and instead they turn even redder than they were before. “Just fancy seeing you lose control.”

They don’t say a thing before they’re both coming, bucking and groaning softly against each other’s skin.

“This might be the best Christmas present yet,” Robert comments in their hazy afterglow and they kiss a bit, tongues sliding together lazily while he absently traces Aaron’s scars with his thumb.

And they hear the thundering of a nine-year-old waking up and realise it’s Christmas Morning.

Aaron sighs. “I’ll make coffee and you take a shower. You stink of sex, you fiend.”

Robert gives him a satisfied smirk. “As long as I’m your fiend,” he teases.

“Cheeky,” Aaron whispers against his lips, giving his cock a gentle thug, before leaving the warmth of the bed.

“How disappointing,” Robert sighs and spreads out on the bed, arms and legs going on for miles.

“Cover yourself,” Aaron grins and throws Robert’s bathrobe at him.

“We’re all men in this house.”

“Vic’ll be around in about five minutes with the food,” Aaron reminds him.

“And the mood’s ruined,” Robert says with a look of disgusts on his face. He gets up and stretches his lower back a little contently.

“Old man,” Aaron teases, slapping an arsecheek before hurrying out of the bedroom. He’ll pay for that one later.

He finds Elliot excitedly unwrapping a present and Aaron says a lot of uhs and ahs to Elliot’s excited chatter.

“I’ve never had so many prezzies before,” Elliot says happily. “Look there is even one from Sarah and Jack.”

“We made one for Sarah and Jack, too, didn’t we?” Aaron says helpfully.

Elliot looks thoughtful for a moment. “I remember now.”

“Is everyone up?” Victoria calls from the front door. “I come bearing food.”

Aaron leaves his brother a bit to greet her. “I don’t think he’s got any time for food. Too busy with presents.”

“I can smell you and Robert opened a present of your own this morning,” Victoria says, wrinkling her nose.

Aaron flushes bright red. “Obvious?”

“Well, not to a nine-year-old. But a shower would be preferable for the rest of us.”

“Noted,” Aaron says. “Watch Elliot?”

She rolls her eyes at him. “No, I’ll leave my favourite step-nephew out in the snow while I put on the beans.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but leaves her to it.

When he comes down, Jacob’s Fold is full.

“Happy Christmas, love,” his mum shouts over the crowd and he goes to give her a kiss on the cheek. “House is full, innit?”

“It’s mental,” Aaron says, but Elliot is beaming.

“We’ll go to the pub after brekkie,” she promises.

“Thank God,” he breathes out in relief.

When everyone is sat around the table with a bit of shouting on Diane’s end, Andy clinks his glass and stands up. The crowd quiets and pays attention.

“I don’t want to ruin the good mood,” he says somberly and Aaron’s heart clenches just a bit, remembering him and Katie on their wedding day last year. They had been happy then. “I wish Katie was here, obviously, but this is perfect too. I never thought I would see my brother truly happy, but he certainly is. And that’s down to you, Aaron.”

Robert bumps his legs against Aaron’s underneath the table and places his arm on the chair beside him. It’s obvious and casual and only done when they are alone or with their closest family. This is not Robert’s usual crowd.

“I don’t know exactly what you were doing a year ago, but Robert tells me there was some hay involved,” Andy says and there are several shouts with ‘too much information’ around the table. “And it’s true what everyone says; he only has one focus when you’re in the room. I just want to say that you and Elliot have been a truly welcome addition to the Sugden family and I can’t thank you enough for bringing our family back together, truly back. So thank you and I think we should toast to Aaron and Elliot.”

Everyone raises their glasses while Aaron’s too busy being embarrassed to join in.

“I think Robert has something special to tell you,” Andy says before he sits down, looking expectantly at his brother.

Robert takes the hint, coughing nervously. “All right, here goes nothing.”

“What are you doing?” Aaron asks him confused.

Robert opens and closes his mouth a couple of times. “I did some reading.” Pause. “Turns out saying you’re into people is a bit counterproductive for the LGBTQ community. So, I’m bisexual and what was it the Urban Dictionary said that was, Elliot?”  
“Bisexual Yankee Geek says that it’s a person who is capable of romantic attraction towards a partner of either gender,” Elliot announces proudly from his seat down beside Belle.

“Thank you, Bisexual Yankee Geek and Elliot,” Robert says and sits down heavily, breathing out.

Aaron gives his knee a gentle squeeze. “Did you do that for me or for you?”

Robert gives him a sheepish smile. “Bit of both.”

“Everyone eat before it gets cold,” Diane urges happily.

Elliot crashes in the back of the pub a little after midday, completely wiped out from the excitement. This leaves Aaron free to have the maddest dart tournament in village history with Adam while Robert watches on amusedly with his brother and sister.

The Whites makes a brief appearance, but doesn’t cause in trouble. Everyone is burying the hatchet for Christmas. Aaron knows that Robert will continue to scheme his way to Home Farm when the holidays are over, but right now there isn’t any obvious warfare going on.

When the day is over and Doctor Who’s gone to end credits, Elliot perks up from his seat in between Aaron and Robert and asks in a tiny voice if Robert will please put him to bed.

Robert looks surprised, but agrees, and Aaron’s a tad curious as well, so it’s not really creeping when you’re both surprised, is it?

Elliot is sat up in bed in his new Liverpool sheets while Robert’s sat awkwardly on the edge, his body not quite able to fit into the space. But he sits there anyway.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on, El?” he asks.

Elliot fishes out a Christmas card from underneath his pillow and holds it like a precious gift. “It’s from Laura,” he says so softly that Aaron can barely hear from where he’s hiding just out of sight. “I got it from the mailbox last week. Can you help me read it?”

“Of course,” Robert says and throws a look Aaron’s way.

Aaron nods his head slightly in agreement and watches Robert open it.

“Dear Elliot,” he reads. “Happy Christmas from me and Benny. We miss you so much and we had hoped you would be with us this year like you were last year. But you are happy with Aaron and that makes me happy. I want to tell you a little story about how I met your mum. She was at a special shelter for women and so was I. We had not been very well treated by our former husbands, so we supported each other through thick and thin. She was so brave and kind to me and I have never seen her as happy as when she had you. She loved you more than life itself and I know she’s happy up in heaven. It’s important that we wave goodnight to her every night so she knows we still love her. I hope I can see you very soon and that your brave brother will forgive me one day. With all the love from your most devoted auntie, Laura.”

There is a thick silence when Robert finishes reading where Elliot’s bottom lip trembles slightly. But he looks a little bit happy too.

“Do you wave goodnight to your mum every night?” Robert asks softly.

Elliot nods. “And Dad, too.”

“My parents are in heaven, too,” Robert says. “I think about them loads.”

“Aaron says we can talk about them often,” Elliot says. “Maybe you should talk about your parents with him. He’s a good listener.”

“I think Aaron is the best listener,” Robert says and burrows the card under Elliot’s pillow.

“He makes us both fuzzy inside,” Elliot says, eyes dropping and pulls the duvet up under his chin.

Robert looks up and connects their eyes. “Yeah, he does.”

As soon as Elliot’s off in dream land, Robert gets up and wraps his long arms around Aaron’s waist. “Best Christmas ever,” he whispers into the silence.

Aaron agrees.

 

 

The End

 

(25-5-2015)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bisexual yankee geek is an actual person on urbandicitonary.com. i paraphrazed and borrowed his/her words. 
> 
> i am always found on tumblr as reinacadeea. come and have a chat about stories and maybe what you want to see me write next :)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm reinacadeea on tumblr as well. please leave a comment to tell me what you think. all mistakes are mine and i own nothing of Emmerdale and it's characters. i am just the idiot who fell in love with two idiots.


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